WHERE ARE MOM AND DAD?

Hurricane Irene hit the East Coast of this country of ours.  It was amazing according to The Weather Channel. My children, grandchildren and I live 580 miles from the action, so we only know what was reported by media and my sister (on coast).   My 80+ year old parents live right where Irene was to sing and dance!  I spoke to my parents on my way to Mass...11- ish and they swore that they were going to stay in, watch television (unless power went out), have a little greens and beans with fresh crusty Italian bread.  I phoned at around 1...answering machine. Hmmm.  At 2, answering machine.  The winds were picking up, flooding where there has never been a drop of water before, trees uprouting! At 3 my sister phoned and asked where they were.  I couldn't see them from my vantage point I assured her, but I finally thought of something that I hadn't before.  (And I'm a college graduate?)...Little Sister, "I'll call their CELL PHONE.  The possible glitch here is that it just may not be turned ON! "  So, I called Mom and Dad's Cell Phone.  Loudly and very clearly, my mother answered, or rather sang as if in a glee club.  Make that she answered with glee.  "HELLO!" "Mom, what's going on?  Where are you two? I keep getting your machine!  The weather reporters keep saying people should be at home, to not venture out unnecessarily.  What's going on?"  Giggling, she responded, "Oh, John next door came over to see how we were doing.  Carol (a cousin) called and asked if we needed anything. I guess everyone wants to check on the old people. Bill (my father's friend since birth, I swear) called and said, "Hey, I'm sick of sitting home with Fran (wife), meet us at McDonald's.  I'll call the gang!"  Now, my parents are the most cautious people in the entire universe!  My dad has never, ever gotten a ticket, never been an accident, pays all bills early, and is a recycle freak (self proclaimed).  He kicks the tires of his car, has the oil changed every full moon or so.  Until 4:45, "the gang" hung out at McDonalds!  The sentiment of the crowd was that if the weather girl could stand on a boardwalk and broadcast in the storm in her slicker and not blow away, or be hit with any miscellaneous bath house, why couldn't they jump into their solid American cars (Dad has a pristine Impala) and do wheelies all the way to Mickie D's for free coffee!  Are these the people, you think, that snuck out at midnight and took their Dad's cars when they were teenagers?  I know that my father has told me that when his parents would visit his grandmother's grave, he'd take off in Grandpa's car and laugh as my Grandfather tried chasing him around the cemetary roads ... at 13 years old!  What was I saying about CAUTIOUS? 

May all of us occasionally throw fate to the wind and have fun regardless of our chronological ages!  May we all find joy in storms and sunshine!

You, Mom and Dad are my idols!

Celebrate Ourselves...Each and Every One!

I find, as I travel, whether throughout the country, or within a social network that people are fabulous!  Each of us, are unique, interesting, rich in experience!  I love the metro slickers, the retro anyones!  I love Kentucky and the local color there!   Of course, I love New York.  I love the charm of South Carolina, the leisure of Florida or Arizona, the glitter of Las Vegas and plastic of L.A. People are so, not to sound corny, nice!  I have learned that people are eager to share themselves and  invite me in! I have found that people gravitate towards people, want to be accepted, respected, appreciated and loved!  I want to feel, touch, explore as many backgrounds, histories, ethniticities, traditions, lives as I can! 

I love you, alll of my family and old friends.  I thank you, all of the new ones that I have met and am meeting along the way now.  I feel as if we all journey together, somehow!  Come on now, grouchie man in Church...smile!

Thank you Mom and Dad for my genes.  Thank you Tiff, Nick, Todd, Tess, Tanner for your support!  Thank you Steve for your patience (it's not easy being divorced from me!) Feel better Sheriff, save that dance Dewey and Rodney, there's Kokomo!

So...GET OUT THERE AND LIVE!!!   As, in the Broadway show, MAME, Auntie Mame said, "Life's a banquet and most sons of bitches are starving!" 

The Jellystone Ministry

With a name like "Jellystone Ministry", one would question the validity of a Sunday morning worship service in a Pavilion. Ah, you religious snobs, how wrong you would be to question the minister, his wife and musician/ pastor Jerry!  The trio circulated among all those present, as they arrived, introducing themselves and thanking each individual, young and old, retaining names, for attending.  Hymns that have nurtured souls for ages, including those from my days at St. Paul's, were led with reverence as if the Lord held a conductor's baton.  The sermon was delivered from the depths of the soul, bypassing all things, directly into the souls of the assembly.  "Achy Breaky Heart" melody enhanced with the lyrics of the heavens instead had the congregation singing the chorus and clapping! Children and Adults alike were fascinated when,with a violin bow, a saw, yes, a saw wood saw, was played and the song, "In The Garden" was heard!  I believe that those who worshipped came away with the Lord deep in their hearts/souls with a greater appreciation for Him and those who presented the service to them!

Compliments to the Ministry of Jellystone Park and to the Park administrators for their sensitivity to the soul and faith of their guests!

Roughing It!

My daughter told me that the children like to camp.  Wouldn't that be fun?  "Tiff", I cringed, "do I look like I camp"?  Well, Broadway Nick (my son, theatre folk) showed us JELLYSTONE PARK in Cave City, Kentucky.  He and Andrea live in Cave City.  During a recent visit, we did pass the entrance, but I thought that it was an amusement park with Yogi and Boo Boo leaning on a sign.  So, I made a reservation!  Would we like a site or cabin, was the question posed by one of the snappy people in the "ranger station".  Between you and me, was she kidding?  "Oh, a cabin, of course!  We have two adults (I use that term loosely for my daughter and myself) and three children, ages 7,6,4."  Ranger Rita replied that there was a brand new cabin that would be ready for occupancy by the time we want to "camp". 

Yogi is definitely smarter and classier than the average bear!  We walked into a brand new log cabin complete with air-conditioning, totally modern bathroom, computerized kitchen, brand new with the tags still on them beds, roomy porch with rocking love-seat (love it), grill, picnic tables, fire rings, large, flat screened TV with 435 channels that I personally have flipped.  My grandson tells me that my finger must have gotten tired, because he found 400 more!

There is a water slide, that will slide for you, a crystal clear pool and lounge chairs that are so comfy! We went on a Hey Hey Hay Ride with Yogi and Boo Boo, got autographs, free ice cream and there are activities along the lines of the Love Boat.  Personally, I'm about ready to rock on that porch and hey, maybe learn how to whittle ,I am in Kentucky, afterall!

GROUCHY, UNPLEASANT MEANIES NEED NOT PARTICIPATE!

So, the trio (grandchildren, ages 7,6,4)  and I went to Mass this morning.  We were well pressed and shined.  We smelled dandy, looked great, were on time!  An usher escorted us to a pew where an elderly couple sat...only one middle aged, well dressed woman was way on the other end.  There was room for a small regiment of average sized people to slip in and have room for their packs!  The grouchiest man on the planet glared as the usher said, "Excuse me sir, could you move in?"  After a snarl, dirty look, a nudge to the wife (I guess), he said, "No, they gotta go in"  He didn't step out of the pew, (no walker, crutches, wheel chair by the way...those seats were empty IN FRONT OF THE CHURCH..we do accomodate needs).  He signaled and grumbled to me, "Go ahead, geez, this is a pain"  I smiled, said excuse me, I'm sorry and climbed over Smilin' Jack.  The trio was extremely well behaved, sitting, standing, kneeling as required.  No talking, no stupidity or silliness, throughout the entire Mass.  He and the wife practically fell over themselves to leave as the last note of the recessional hymn sounded.   A friend and his wife came over to chat for a while, actually the producer of a News show that I occasionally pop in to talk and talk and you get the idea.  Ray did mention that he observed how well behaved Todd, Tess,, Tanner were in church.  Hmmmmmmmmm...

Note to Mr. and Mrs. Grouchie Pants,

You were in a Christian/Catholic Church...The old "Love Thy Neighbor"  thing holds up there you know.  No one expected you to do stand-up, or even to smile if it just isn't in your repetoire, but, a more pleasant disposition, a slight bit of tolerance just might help you not appear to be such a hypocrite.  We all come to Church with issues...joy, sadness, frustration, pride, etc.  However, to check that at the door, or to just appeal to the Lord because He knows our strife, our needs BEFORE WE DO should eliminate nastiness to three little children and a grandmother who are simply practicing Catholics or in training, so to speak.   By the way, a priest, years ago, once said that if people are unnerved by children at Mass...1. You are not absorbed in the Celebration or focused, or you wouldn't be distracted and 2.  Jesus said, "Bring Me the Children".   Also, if it is so detestable to you to go to Mass with a congregation, to have anyone in your pew (still leaving plenty of room for the little old lady in the shoe with so many children, etc)...have a private Mass said for you in your living room, your basement, your kitchen, your bedroom, your bathroom, the trunk of your car!

So, recalling the words of Sr. Claudine, "I'll pray for you, sir"

What a fiasco!  Recovery is soooooooooooooo difficult.  I know a person who is suffering and trying to recover from IDENTY THEFT!  We all know that it exists.  I have seen first hand how a person becomes totally shipwrecked by it!  The person is a single Mom, divorced from a dead beat Dad (drunk to boot) with three little children!  I only wish that the punk that did this would get caught and punished severely!  Just because a person has a few dollars in the bank, what makes a punk think that the person doesn't need a roof over her children's heads?  How about a meal or two?  How dare this miserable low-life do that to her!  The bank has been trying to recover funds, the police are on board.  In the meantime...bills? food? Shame on the louse!  Why should she be penalized because she has played the cards delt her well!  She should be given a parade, not a persecution party because you wanted to obtain $1500 worth of crap from Lowe's! She was raped for at least $6,000-$7,000!  That is unforgivable, not that anyone of your ilk would care about forgiveness!  GET A JOB!  SELL YOUR GOLD TEETH  (if you are an affluent, or gangish thief)!! THINK ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD ENJOY A MISERABLE JERK TAKING YOUR LOOT?

On the other hand...

I stood out on the corner offering my identity.  There are no takers!  I have a crappy credit rating, I cannot afford my apartment, my bill are past due! My health insurance will be cancelled by the time I finish typing. The car company wants its money or car!  My love life is worse than my credit rating and  you just know how it goes. I owe the IRS.  I have grandchildren whom I baby-sit, and of course, a grandmother should NEVER get paid, two children, teenie-weenie alimony, and no back up! Everything works out in the end, as so, I just work harder, straighten it all out and basically PRAY.

 So you punk, you scum, you IDENTITY THIEF, come and get me!  Ah, ha...just as I've said...There are no takers!  Nobody wants to be ME!  We should all BE OURSELVES!  Stand up, figure it out, go with it!  And, ,you lousy thief, didn't anyone ever tell you...KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF?

Presidential Candidate

I believe that I should officially announce that I am running for President of the United States of America!  I really should!  My first executive order would be that everyone in this fair country MUST have a full length mirror, preferably near their door, but a full length mirror none-the-less!  There will be a militia of Fashion Police with stringent training to issue warnings or ciatations for those sport ridiculous combinations, ill-fitting garb and general WHAAAAAAAT were they thinking???????  This society is suffering from severe O.M.G! for a multitude of looks that just are well...don't you just wonder DO YOU SEE YOURSELVES MY FELLOW AMERICANS?  COME NOW...DO YOU? REALLY?  You do realize that cleanliness and garment coordinationare not necessarily luxuries of the wealthy!  Even in the Dollar Store you can come up with $1.00 for shampoo, $1.00 will buy a bar of soap!  In the Dollar Store with a little searching one can come up with matching, coordinating outfits that fit!  Actually, some are "wired" together when Garanimals won't do.  What is with the classic black sock worn with sandals?  Or the white socks worn with sandals for that matter?  Cover those huge tummies folks!  If you're wearing a tank top, what's with the combat boots?  Are you at the beach, at war or shopping in Lowe's.  Do you realize that Capris worn with tube socks is just not a good look? XXXL t-shirts that shout, "HOT MAMA" over skin tight size 8 jeans that are about to split because of the size 18 thighs in them doesn't scream any sort of sense at all!  If you will never see the sunny side of 60 again ladies, sweet heart baby doll tops with necklines that are really bust definers are just not working, even if most people you pass are not wearing their much needed glasses!.  If you're 4'10", do you think that a maxi to your ankles is flattering?  Pick up that hemline, give yourself some leg!  If you're 5'11", let your skirt cover your bottom and maybe a tad more!  Why would you wear red shorts, a fushia top and yellow sandals?  Or the light blue shorts with white stripes with a black t-shirt (tiny one at that on large person) with kelly green, hot pink and yellow splashes and an orange sequin visor on a rainy day? Vanna, I'd like to buy a comb and brush please!  Oh, I could go on and on and on.  Come on America!  Look at yourselves, just look at yourselves! Look better!  TRY! 

Reconciling with a computer

A friend gave me a brand new computer because she had too many.  I was a happy camper, to be sure!  It was connected smartly, was a tiny bit slow, but much faster than visiting everyone on foot to send a message.  This morning, it just wouldn't cooperate...AT ALL.  I have a DSL, Internet Modum, whatever connection whose wire was connected.  The screen popped out at me:  "Dial up connection can't be executed!" WHAT IS THAT?????????????????????????  I jumped out of my chair, rationally, yeah, right, pulled out wires from places that I never remembered, and raced to the window with the computer "tower"/"box".  Priscilla, my cat,  (shhhhh, she thinks that she is a little girl...loves paper dolls and quiche) threw a body block (whoever knew that she was a computer sympathizer?) and prohibited me from getting to that window!  Oh, how ungraceful I looked (shhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell Peter, my agent, he'll yell at me...but, his charm, or lack thereof is another story).   So, after I gathered what few wits I had left, I placed the computer, semi - near the door to go to the trash or to my son's for an overhaul, whichever came first!  I used a friend's laptop for the day (he left it here to scan pictures for a 50th Anniversary at out local VFW (yep, you got it, I'm the historian of the Ladies Auxiliary).  At about 6:30 ish pm, he phoned and said he was picking up his laptop to pay bills (that is like talking a totally foreign tongue to me...just ask those snappy bill collectors).  I packed up his trusty, working on either DSL or wireless Toshiba with a smile...(no, not really a big smile, more or less a grimmace).   I gave this baby just one more try (after I ate left-over Lasagna and a few glasses of wine)...voila!!!! It works!!!  So, I guess Best Buy needs me on the "Geek Squad"!!!

Computer madness

I have spent the morning in an electronic conflict with my new computer.  I believe that it just doesn't like me!  I think I'll just dig out a chisel and stone tablet!  Yep, I will.  Or how about a stylo and papyrus?  Ah, the good old days!

My new website

Well I finally got my new website up and going please visit it when you have a chance. There is some much info there and more on the way.  http://www.lauramacy.com