My daughter, three grandchildren and I packed up three black dresses/dress outfits, two casual outfits and one bathing suit, for a night's stay in a hotel, each to go to my best friend's husband's funeral on September 7. We rolled with GPS, a DVD, a DS whatever from Ohio to pass through Pennsylvania to New Jersey. We were going to pick up my ex (kids' grandpa and Tiff's dad) to join us. We stopped for the night about three hours from the Pennsylvania-New Jersey border. After breakfast, a swim, shower, shampoo, we donned our mourning clothes and by 10 am, we headed home. We were giddy that we might be able to even visit Mom and Dad on the way through.
By 11, we found Route 80 East (road home) closed! Pennsylvania was declared in a State of Emergency until 9 am, Sunday the 11th because for the first time in forty, yes 40, years, eastern Pennsylvania was flooding. Rivers were to rise to above 40 feet! Detour roads were closing as we approached them! State Troopers couldn't guarantee our safety out of Pennsylvania by southern routes, and definitely couldn't predict that we would be able to return. My son manned his phone and computer to find a way north, closing as he googled.
By 3 pm, we were on fumes, uncomfortable, hungry. One detour led us to a little town. The streets were empty, the parking lots, abandoned. A gas station was closed as was a sandwich shop next to it. A sign advertised "Open for Lunch and Dinner" outside of an inviting railroad themed restaurant. A man approached us from nowhere as the children tumbled out of the car and said, "Ladies, we're shut down! We are evacuating! Get back in your vechicle and get yourselves up Route 11 towards Danville!" Hmmm. Route 11? Danville? He might be speaking Babylonian for all we understood. So, as we drove through the Twilight Zone, we realized that in fact, Northumberland was closing, big time! We found one gas station open for brisk business where I managede to wring out $.17 worth of gas! Another customer told me to try premium and anxious to use liquid gold if I had to, I squeezed the last of the premium fuel, not making me Ms. Popularity in Northumberland!
As we passed "El Rancho" Bar and Grill, we noticed cars, trucks packed to the gills in the crowded parking lot. Upon our entrance, dressed as we were, there was a hush among the patrons sporting jeans, sweatshirts, ball caps and scarves. Sizing up the situation, I clearly made eye contact with my audience and declared, "We are on the way to a funeral -that's why we're dressed like this. The funeral is in New Jersey and we're from Ohio - that's why were are passing through Pennsylvania. Route 80 and its detours are closed and closing - that's why we're here!" With that said, 10-15 of our new best friends made room for us, began talking to us all at once and told us that they were evacuating and "heading out soon". They felt that this was a really serious situation because, even Walmart was closed! We were invited to join the parade and after lunch, go on, be safe and for God's sake, head west. Oh, boy!
The party broke up and we drove to the Pennsylvania - Ohio border...whew! My ex told me that since we were dressed, we should just crash any viewing and funeral along the way. Hmmm...mourning by proxy?
We hunkered down at a Best Western, went swimming that evening. In the morning, after breakfast and a swim, we visited Vienna, Ohio's Animal Wagon Safari (fabulous) and one of the top 100 Chinese restaurants in the United States (according to advertisements) before staggering into the portal, from which we left originally at 9 pm.
Note to self requiring revision to packing list: For next funeral trip from Ohio to New Jersey - forget the black dresses and pack three bathing suits. Also, Noah, where do I stock up on cubits?
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