I love my apartment. It is large. I have a deck and I even stashed a full sized electric grill on it with plenty of room for a table, four chairs, an antique milk can. Nice. I have a large living room with a wood burning fireplace. True, it's done in Vintage Lucy and RomperRoom (grandchildren's three rocking chairs, three "chests", you know the drill). I have a good sized dining room, eat in kitchen with a dishwasher that Columbus brought over here on the Santa Maria. My two bedrooms are spacious and I can soak or shower in either of my two full bathrooms. The swimming pool is open from Memorial Day through Labor Day. There is a gym, no tennis court (black mark in my book). You would think that when I received on Monday, a notice stuck in my door: REWARD TO PICK YOUR NEIGHBOR! $300 CASH IN YOUR POCKET! HAVE A FRIEND MOVE IN TO THE VILLAGER AND YOU BOTH WILL WIN AT THE VILLAGER LUXURY COMMUNITY!!! I would have jumped on it...
The next day, I received a notice...PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR NEIGHBORS. IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION THAT THERE WERE SCREAMING CHILDREN HEARD LAST NIGHT, blah, blah, blah. Oh, really? Well, my grandchildren were not there that day, night, the day before, the night before, the day after, the night after and were not there when the notice was cowardly stuck in the door...Hey Villager, are you nuts? We are complaining about ME? I think not!
Has anyone heard the man downstairs' cat howling all night with a friend beneath my window? Now, that is the sound of crying, screaming children. Listen sometime! How about the individual who has the dog that howls all night at the moon, stars and any passing emergency vehicle that screams past the complex? One of my personal favorites is the man who at four in the morning was shouting at his partner because he caught her in a compromising situation with another gentleman! The residents of The Villager heard that evening that she just isn't much for keeping her clothes on while doing the "oh yeahs" between the sheets...not his. A close second is the nasty man who at midnight kept yelling at children who were crying to "shut up" because he was on the phone. I think that my fellow Villagers would agree that he really didn't need the phone. Whoever was on the receiving end really only had to lean out of his/her window, even as far as China. Biker Dude doesn't really have show off all of his VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM at two in the morning and again at six that same morning, does he? I know that motorcycles are loud...but, he only kicks it into HI when the two previously mentioned men are out cold.
Who do I dislike enough to try to enlist as a "neighbor" in order that I collect the $300 prize? Let's see. The Playground has been dismantled and hauled away. The Club House is not available for residents to use with or without a fee because it has been redecorated and "well, you know" is what I was told. Hmmmm. Yep, that'll make someone feel really unwanted! The nut downstairs left me a pile of cigarette butts at my door that he figured I threw off of my deck...I DON'T SMOKE!!! I returned them with a note: "Thanks, but not my brand! Actually, not my sport!" Sure, an enemy just might want to spar with Mr. BloodShotBlue Eyes. Ah, ha. On the other hand...nah.
Yes, I live in a multi-family dwelling. I really do enjoy my fellow man. I don't complain. I could not really care about any of the above...until: 1. There is an unfounded complaint about me and 2. I am asked to find someone to torture, both in the same 48 hour period!
Share this bliss with a friend or foe? REALLY VILLAGER? ARE YOU KIDDING ME VILLAGER? Hey, TWO MEN AND A TRUCK, what are you doing this spring? Bring boxes for my things and a shredder for the due to be renewed lease!
Then again, The Villager let me in...wow, they really must need riff-raff in order to fill their vacancies.
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