As a little girl, I loved shopping with my Grandmother. Nana would dress me up in a cute dress and we would walk down our hill, take a city bus, and disembark on Main Street! On the bus, we would strategize about what we needed, where we would look, and where we would have lunch? Quackenbush's Tea Room, or Meyer Brothers Cafe? Walking, talking, about everything and nothing, I held her hand half walking, half skipping down the street Passing shop windows, we would discuss merchandise, browse. The fabric store was intriguing. Trying on shoes was fun. Trying on outfits would have us dissolve in puddles of giggles when I decided to put on a "show".
Over lunch, where I always ordered ice cream to match my dress, we would seriously consider what we had seen, what we would go back and purchase, what time the bus would come to take us back home.
Lunch and shopping was one of the more intimate times that we would spend together, second only to going to Mass on Sunday or Novena on Thursday.
I graduated from college and used money that my Grandfather Scillieri (Ralph the Barber) gave me as a down payment on my first car. A 1971 Ford Pinto. White, with black vinyl roof! As soon as I pulled off of the car lot, I raced to pick up Nana! We were going to the Mall, for lunch and a little shopping. She told me that as soon as she saw the little car, she knew it was soo me! We bought some new outfits after having lunch at Bamberger's that day! Oh the stories we exchanged!
Time passed...
Tess, 10 years old, lives in a town, which is two hours driving time from me. Tess phoned, late one morning. "Meme! (may may) There is a pair of black shoes, with a little heel, sort of, with ties, that come to the ankle, but not a boot. Mommy, I don't think will buy them. But... I thought that maybe you...." Hmmm. "Tess, what do they look like?" Tess was on her lap top computer. Tess told me to "log on". Sitting on our beds, Indian style, Tess in Zanesville, I in Kettering, went shopping together. We looked for her shoes that she thought she saw. I suggested assorted web sites, she did as well. We clicked, scrolled together talking about everything and nothing as we fingers to keys danced down cyber street! After about an hour: "Meme, are you getting hungry?" Ladies and gentlemen, I am always hungry. "Actually, I am Tess." We decided to leave our computers on our beds, run down to the kitchen and bring lunch back up to have lunch together and figure out the whole shoe project. "Meme. What should we have for lunch? Maybe a sandwich and chips?" I agreed that would be easiest and best. With our phones on speaker, we rummaged in our kitchens. I heard my daughter in the background: "Tess, what are you doing?" Tess quickly responded: "Meme and I are shopping together. We are taking a break for lunch together and then we'll finish." Tiffany, my daughter: "Tess, you and Meme are so nutty. Whatever. Let me know if you need help" With that, Tess told me she shook her head and left the kitchen. We made ourselves turkey, swiss, lettuce and tomato sandwiches. Hers was on wheat, mine on Italian bread. She had flavored chips of some sort, I stuck with basic original. We both had iced tea. We hot footed it back upstairs to our rooms. As we nibbled our lunch, we did some more browsing.
Finally, we arrived at a decision. Tess has mastered "on line shopping" with my account information. Shoes ordered and paid for, confirmed! I was sent the confirmation and forwarded it to her so that we both had a complete "file" on the goods. We moved on to Tsum-tsums, matching best friend necklaces and a book.
I told her about shopping and lunch with my Grandmother before we disconnected. Tess: "Well, Meme. We did the same thing and didn't have to worry about missing the bus or carrying home a bunch of packages and bags! We had fun...just us girls...a little lunch and a little shopping!"
Laura Macy Author & Actress
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
HEY MEME! HELP!
As our grandchildren get older, grandparents might be under the misconception that they won't be "needed" as they once were. Well, that's true on a certain level...diapers, naps are outgrown. Eventually, baby-sitting, as such, is required less. As our grandchildren grow, age, mature, become more, shall we say worldly, more active, our purpose shifts. You might be familiar with my Blog: THERE'S NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN where I recount my Grandmother - Nana, a Volkswagen, a house and relate it all to Todd and his glasses. This time Tess worked my creativity.
Tess dances. Tess is ten years old and is in some advanced Ballet classes and Hip Hop. One day, I received a frantic call from Tess, while she was supposed to be dressing for Ballet Class: "Hey Meme! (may may) help! This is an emergency! I can't find my shoe!" Unknowingly, I responded: "Well Tess, I can't see it from here, wear a different pair." Hysterically: "Meme! You don't understand! Mommy will flip, she'll be so mad, she'll be way more than upset if I can't find my other ballet shoe! You know the new ones that you bought with the split sole? Those! I can't dance and rehearse for the show without them, but..." Now the tears flooded the phone lines between Zanesville and Kettering, Ohio. Oh dear...I closed my eyes and recalled my Grandfather Scillieri (Dad's Dad) ... aka Ralph the Barber. Usually my Nana bailed me out of everything and anything...but, one time, I needed a Sicilian Cad, widower for about twenty years at the time, swinging single.
Wander back with me:
Before I could obtain my certification to teach Art and Theatre from Grades K-12, in the State of New Jersey, I had to participate in "Practice Teaching". For one half of a semester, I worked with Mary Knap in Pompton Lakes High School...had High School knocked! For the second half - the Pompton Lakes Junior High School. Judy someone was my cooperating teacher. She was nice, helpful, a pleasure. But, the Principal was another story. No sooner did I sign in at the office on my first day in the school, did she look at my name and said: "Hmmm...Scillieri, huh?" Eagerly and two years too young to be there anyway (another story), I responded: "Yes, Mrs. Uscinowitz!" A scowl filled the narrow, pinched face: "Hmmm...do you know Ralph, the Barber, Scillieri?" This is where the entire day headed straight to H---. "Oh yes!" That's my Grandfather!" The scowl turned into a conniption, as Bill Cosby used to describe, where her head split, her eyes glowed red and fire came from her nose and mouth:"You will never be a teacher in New Jersey, ever Missy! He stood up my Aunt Louise last Saturday night and she's heartbroken!" I went from her office to the Art Room, introduced myself and hustled home...now what? I phoned Grandpa: "Hey Grandpa! Help!" I proceeded to tell him the Aunt Louise story adding: "Grandpa, when we hang up, call Aunt Louise, ask her out, take her out every weekend until I finish practice teaching! Got that?" Grandpa: "Oh Laura! I love you, but we went out a few times and she wouldn't even invite me in for a cup of coffee!" On the verge of hysteria: "Grandpa! Just eight weeks! We won't tell anybody what we're doing, but, please, just eight weeks!" A slight groan, a few choice Sicilian utterances: "Oh, okay, okay." The next morning, the principal was waiting for me with coffee, donuts and a warm: "Oh Laura, you'll do wonderfully here!"
And so:
Next door to the dance Studio, is Flair - a dance supply store. Owned by the Dance Instructor's Mom. I phoned Kelly. "Hi, this is Laura Macy, Tess' Grandmother." After some chit-chat and on and on, I unfolded the plan. "Tess will be in after her Mom drops her off at the studio. She will run into your shop. She is missing one shoe of the new pair that we just bought. Could you please have a pair in her size ready for her to go? My card number is:----------------. Please keep this between us, don't mention it to her Mom...Tiff? She laughed and we pinkie swore that the phone conversation never happened.
After a rehearsal, Tess went home, thinking her shoes were in the box, in her bag. And so, tears and panic with assorted screams of horror: "Meme! My new shoes are gone! Maybe they fell out? Do you think that someone stole them? I can't dance without the shoes! What are we going to do?"
Back up a tiny bit:
Practice teaching was a smashing success. Aunt Louise was in love. The principal gave me glowing reviews, had lunch with me frequently, loved my family, assured me that I would be the best teacher in the State. My father grew suspicious. "You didn't tell anyone that you know my father, did you? Ya know, Laur, Ralph the Barber is a gigolo at best. Did you say that he's dating your principal's aunt? Never admit that you know the joker!" Gee, nothing like hind sight, I thought. When practice teaching ended, grades in, Grandpa called: "I gave it my best, I'm done! Eight weeks, eight weeks and she still didn't invite me in for even one crappy cup of coffee! I'm done!" Thinking quickly, I said: "Grandpa, I can't let Mrs. Uscinowitz or Aunt Louise think that we did this, just so that I could pass. Dad will go nuts! See this through Graduation night. Bring her to the ceremony. You just can't drop her!" Oh boy, the Litany of Sicilian Saints in more than colorful Sicilian! "Laura! She'll think that going to your graduation is a d--- marriage proposal!" Getting edgy, I responded: "Grandpa!" With great sighing: "Oh, okay." Between you and me, for a few years later, he occasionally took out Aunt Louise when Clara wasn't available, but she never invited him in. Dad still wonders about the whole thing, but only Grandpa and I know for sure.
Now:
I called Kelly, yet again: "Hi Kelly, this is..." Immediately: "Hi Laura! What can I do for you?" I told her about the new lost shoes, the need for shoes again and asked if she needed my card number again. "Oh, of course not! I have it! I'll pull another pair of shoes for Tess and label them inside. When you come to town, how about a nice brunch and a long, long visit? We are becoming soul mates. No pun intended! And of course, it's our secret." Tiff still wonders why Kelly and I are such pals, but only Kelly, Tess and I know for sure.
As our Grandchildren age, you might learn to dread, yet learn to embrace: HEY MEME! (or Opa, Gran, Nana, Grandpa, Papa, Mimi, Oma, Grannie, Poppa) HELP!
Tess dances. Tess is ten years old and is in some advanced Ballet classes and Hip Hop. One day, I received a frantic call from Tess, while she was supposed to be dressing for Ballet Class: "Hey Meme! (may may) help! This is an emergency! I can't find my shoe!" Unknowingly, I responded: "Well Tess, I can't see it from here, wear a different pair." Hysterically: "Meme! You don't understand! Mommy will flip, she'll be so mad, she'll be way more than upset if I can't find my other ballet shoe! You know the new ones that you bought with the split sole? Those! I can't dance and rehearse for the show without them, but..." Now the tears flooded the phone lines between Zanesville and Kettering, Ohio. Oh dear...I closed my eyes and recalled my Grandfather Scillieri (Dad's Dad) ... aka Ralph the Barber. Usually my Nana bailed me out of everything and anything...but, one time, I needed a Sicilian Cad, widower for about twenty years at the time, swinging single.
Wander back with me:
Before I could obtain my certification to teach Art and Theatre from Grades K-12, in the State of New Jersey, I had to participate in "Practice Teaching". For one half of a semester, I worked with Mary Knap in Pompton Lakes High School...had High School knocked! For the second half - the Pompton Lakes Junior High School. Judy someone was my cooperating teacher. She was nice, helpful, a pleasure. But, the Principal was another story. No sooner did I sign in at the office on my first day in the school, did she look at my name and said: "Hmmm...Scillieri, huh?" Eagerly and two years too young to be there anyway (another story), I responded: "Yes, Mrs. Uscinowitz!" A scowl filled the narrow, pinched face: "Hmmm...do you know Ralph, the Barber, Scillieri?" This is where the entire day headed straight to H---. "Oh yes!" That's my Grandfather!" The scowl turned into a conniption, as Bill Cosby used to describe, where her head split, her eyes glowed red and fire came from her nose and mouth:"You will never be a teacher in New Jersey, ever Missy! He stood up my Aunt Louise last Saturday night and she's heartbroken!" I went from her office to the Art Room, introduced myself and hustled home...now what? I phoned Grandpa: "Hey Grandpa! Help!" I proceeded to tell him the Aunt Louise story adding: "Grandpa, when we hang up, call Aunt Louise, ask her out, take her out every weekend until I finish practice teaching! Got that?" Grandpa: "Oh Laura! I love you, but we went out a few times and she wouldn't even invite me in for a cup of coffee!" On the verge of hysteria: "Grandpa! Just eight weeks! We won't tell anybody what we're doing, but, please, just eight weeks!" A slight groan, a few choice Sicilian utterances: "Oh, okay, okay." The next morning, the principal was waiting for me with coffee, donuts and a warm: "Oh Laura, you'll do wonderfully here!"
And so:
Next door to the dance Studio, is Flair - a dance supply store. Owned by the Dance Instructor's Mom. I phoned Kelly. "Hi, this is Laura Macy, Tess' Grandmother." After some chit-chat and on and on, I unfolded the plan. "Tess will be in after her Mom drops her off at the studio. She will run into your shop. She is missing one shoe of the new pair that we just bought. Could you please have a pair in her size ready for her to go? My card number is:----------------. Please keep this between us, don't mention it to her Mom...Tiff? She laughed and we pinkie swore that the phone conversation never happened.
After a rehearsal, Tess went home, thinking her shoes were in the box, in her bag. And so, tears and panic with assorted screams of horror: "Meme! My new shoes are gone! Maybe they fell out? Do you think that someone stole them? I can't dance without the shoes! What are we going to do?"
Back up a tiny bit:
Practice teaching was a smashing success. Aunt Louise was in love. The principal gave me glowing reviews, had lunch with me frequently, loved my family, assured me that I would be the best teacher in the State. My father grew suspicious. "You didn't tell anyone that you know my father, did you? Ya know, Laur, Ralph the Barber is a gigolo at best. Did you say that he's dating your principal's aunt? Never admit that you know the joker!" Gee, nothing like hind sight, I thought. When practice teaching ended, grades in, Grandpa called: "I gave it my best, I'm done! Eight weeks, eight weeks and she still didn't invite me in for even one crappy cup of coffee! I'm done!" Thinking quickly, I said: "Grandpa, I can't let Mrs. Uscinowitz or Aunt Louise think that we did this, just so that I could pass. Dad will go nuts! See this through Graduation night. Bring her to the ceremony. You just can't drop her!" Oh boy, the Litany of Sicilian Saints in more than colorful Sicilian! "Laura! She'll think that going to your graduation is a d--- marriage proposal!" Getting edgy, I responded: "Grandpa!" With great sighing: "Oh, okay." Between you and me, for a few years later, he occasionally took out Aunt Louise when Clara wasn't available, but she never invited him in. Dad still wonders about the whole thing, but only Grandpa and I know for sure.
Now:
I called Kelly, yet again: "Hi Kelly, this is..." Immediately: "Hi Laura! What can I do for you?" I told her about the new lost shoes, the need for shoes again and asked if she needed my card number again. "Oh, of course not! I have it! I'll pull another pair of shoes for Tess and label them inside. When you come to town, how about a nice brunch and a long, long visit? We are becoming soul mates. No pun intended! And of course, it's our secret." Tiff still wonders why Kelly and I are such pals, but only Kelly, Tess and I know for sure.
As our Grandchildren age, you might learn to dread, yet learn to embrace: HEY MEME! (or Opa, Gran, Nana, Grandpa, Papa, Mimi, Oma, Grannie, Poppa) HELP!
Monday, April 27, 2015
THEY'VE MOVED PARADISE AND PUT IN ZANESVILLE ( I KNOW I'M YOUR FAVORITE )
One day, as I was contemplating curly or straight hair after a shower, my phone rang. Well, it didn't actually ring. My ring tone sounds like Tinkerbell entering the movie set of Peter Pan. It twinkles. Anyway, the Trio (Grandchildren - Todd, 11; Tess, 10; Tanner 7) on speaker, with their Mom (my daughter, aka, The Princess of Zanesville) singing backup: "Meme! (may-may) Guess what? You are going to come over and play, take care of us for a whole week! We're going to dancing lessons, gymnastics, Oriental Buffet, Bob Evans, Roosters- we can get balloon animals there, Picnic Pizza! We need to go to the Mall! Make sure you bring Taylor Ham and Italian Bread! Did you find the book about Andre the Giant for me (Todd)? Did you finish shortening my First Communion Pants? (Tanner) Can you come to a special recycle party at school with me and stay for lunch (Tanner again) We're going to have so much fun!" Apparently the Princess needed a vacation and the Trio was planning an itinerary to be the busiest and eventually the poorest grandmother in Ohio. That being said...
We managed to get to school on time on Monday. I happened to wake up, flip on the news and realize that I'd better get busy. Attending Mass with Tanner was pleasant enough and we managed to get to our lessons without incident. Well, mysteriously, Tess could find only one of her ballet shoes! Hmmm...for two feet. "But, Meme! At Whitney's (dance instructor/studio owner) store next door (enterprising Ballet Teacher, yes?), there are the new ballet shoes that I've been begging Mommy for! They have a split sole..." Ah-ha! Convenient loss, n'est-pas? The Oriental Buffet, that evening dished out "Italian Meatballs" skewered, three on a stick. Chock full of rice! REALLY? Ah, the company was key, not so much the fare.
Thinking that I was a cool, techno-grandparent, I set the alarm on my phone to wake us up on Tuesday morning. Did you know that Zanesville is not in the same time zone as Guatemala? How my phone hitched into Guatemala time is beyond me. We just barely made it in time to Todd and Tess' Middle School, only because the teacher at the door was distracted by my horn and loud music enough to stand, look around, take it all in and not close the door until it was five minutes later! YES! When I signed Tanner into his school late, the secretary said: "Well, that's some story! If it were anyone else, I wouldn't believe a word, but from you, Mrs. Macy, Guatemala figures!" Should I be offended? Before dinner at Bob Evans where on Tuesdays Children Eat Free (except on my $45.00 check, it seems), I bought an alarm clock and four extra batteries.
On Wednesday morning, I couldn't turn off the alarm clock. Tess said: "Meme! Look for the switch to turn it off!" Todd struggled to open two eyes, turned it off with the switch, looked at me and said:"Duh?" Tanner, whose hair looked as if he did it with a lightning bolt, said: "Meme! You've just been 'duhhed'!" Yes, I managed to get to Todd and Tess' Mass and to the "Recycle" party. Yes, I zipped to a "Subway" for Tanner's lunch. The balloon animals just "made" dinner at Rooster's!
Thursday, according to the news, was: "Bring Your Daughter/Child To Work Day". Nice. The children began watching the morning news, as I do, getting ready for school during the week. As I was putting breakfast on the table, I heard giggling as they tumbled down the stairs, in their jammies! "What are you doing? Why don't you have on your uniforms? We're going to be late! Mom will be furious if you are late twice in the week Tanner! Todd, Tess, we aren't going to be lucky another day to escape late slips! Let's move it!" "Meme! We saw on the news, you know, you tell us to watch the news! We saw that it's take your kids to work day! So, we figured we didn't have to get dressed...we'll stay with you at your work! Or, well, what is it that you DO do anyway?" The Mall and Picnic Pizza pushed me right into poverty level, but it was so worth it! Vinnie, the owner of Picnic Pizza, I understand is originally from Sicily, through Queens and fell off of a covered wagon in Zanesville!
What I have not mentioned...the restaurants were fine, except for the rice in meatballs. The week was fun. The Mall, pricey...Todd's LeBron Nikes, Tess' pink, lacy glittery Nikes, Tanner's really cute shoes from Children's Place, Justice outfits, accessories for Tess, X-Box Live connection for Tanner, Tsum-Tsums for Tess (18 of them), Wrestling belts for Todd. Snuggling at night, whispers, secrets, stories about my Nana.
Tanner: "You'll bring me to the Church early to meet my class on Communion Day? The others can meet us in time for the Mass. Shhhh....don't tell the big kids. I know I'm your favorite."
Tess: "Meme, I always love the way you smell (Thanks Organza). You'll be my maid of honor when I get married, right? Don't tell the boys, but I know that I'm your favorite."
Todd: "Hey Meme! When the kids go to sleep, I'll teach you how to do X-Box Smack Down and Chairs and Ladders. You can be Kane or The Rock! We can talk and play like grownups without the kids! I know, Meme, I'm your favorite and always will be!"
We managed to get to school on time on Monday. I happened to wake up, flip on the news and realize that I'd better get busy. Attending Mass with Tanner was pleasant enough and we managed to get to our lessons without incident. Well, mysteriously, Tess could find only one of her ballet shoes! Hmmm...for two feet. "But, Meme! At Whitney's (dance instructor/studio owner) store next door (enterprising Ballet Teacher, yes?), there are the new ballet shoes that I've been begging Mommy for! They have a split sole..." Ah-ha! Convenient loss, n'est-pas? The Oriental Buffet, that evening dished out "Italian Meatballs" skewered, three on a stick. Chock full of rice! REALLY? Ah, the company was key, not so much the fare.
Thinking that I was a cool, techno-grandparent, I set the alarm on my phone to wake us up on Tuesday morning. Did you know that Zanesville is not in the same time zone as Guatemala? How my phone hitched into Guatemala time is beyond me. We just barely made it in time to Todd and Tess' Middle School, only because the teacher at the door was distracted by my horn and loud music enough to stand, look around, take it all in and not close the door until it was five minutes later! YES! When I signed Tanner into his school late, the secretary said: "Well, that's some story! If it were anyone else, I wouldn't believe a word, but from you, Mrs. Macy, Guatemala figures!" Should I be offended? Before dinner at Bob Evans where on Tuesdays Children Eat Free (except on my $45.00 check, it seems), I bought an alarm clock and four extra batteries.
On Wednesday morning, I couldn't turn off the alarm clock. Tess said: "Meme! Look for the switch to turn it off!" Todd struggled to open two eyes, turned it off with the switch, looked at me and said:"Duh?" Tanner, whose hair looked as if he did it with a lightning bolt, said: "Meme! You've just been 'duhhed'!" Yes, I managed to get to Todd and Tess' Mass and to the "Recycle" party. Yes, I zipped to a "Subway" for Tanner's lunch. The balloon animals just "made" dinner at Rooster's!
Thursday, according to the news, was: "Bring Your Daughter/Child To Work Day". Nice. The children began watching the morning news, as I do, getting ready for school during the week. As I was putting breakfast on the table, I heard giggling as they tumbled down the stairs, in their jammies! "What are you doing? Why don't you have on your uniforms? We're going to be late! Mom will be furious if you are late twice in the week Tanner! Todd, Tess, we aren't going to be lucky another day to escape late slips! Let's move it!" "Meme! We saw on the news, you know, you tell us to watch the news! We saw that it's take your kids to work day! So, we figured we didn't have to get dressed...we'll stay with you at your work! Or, well, what is it that you DO do anyway?" The Mall and Picnic Pizza pushed me right into poverty level, but it was so worth it! Vinnie, the owner of Picnic Pizza, I understand is originally from Sicily, through Queens and fell off of a covered wagon in Zanesville!
What I have not mentioned...the restaurants were fine, except for the rice in meatballs. The week was fun. The Mall, pricey...Todd's LeBron Nikes, Tess' pink, lacy glittery Nikes, Tanner's really cute shoes from Children's Place, Justice outfits, accessories for Tess, X-Box Live connection for Tanner, Tsum-Tsums for Tess (18 of them), Wrestling belts for Todd. Snuggling at night, whispers, secrets, stories about my Nana.
Tanner: "You'll bring me to the Church early to meet my class on Communion Day? The others can meet us in time for the Mass. Shhhh....don't tell the big kids. I know I'm your favorite."
Tess: "Meme, I always love the way you smell (Thanks Organza). You'll be my maid of honor when I get married, right? Don't tell the boys, but I know that I'm your favorite."
Todd: "Hey Meme! When the kids go to sleep, I'll teach you how to do X-Box Smack Down and Chairs and Ladders. You can be Kane or The Rock! We can talk and play like grownups without the kids! I know, Meme, I'm your favorite and always will be!"
Friday, March 20, 2015
ROAD (FROM OHIO, THROUGH PENNSYLVANIA, THROUGH NEW JERSEY INTO NYC) TO WRESTLEMANIA
About a month ago, I opened and invitation to a wedding in Jersey City, New Jersey. For the past twelve years, I have been living in Ohio. (Long story about a daughter and three grandchildren. We'll have a glass of wine and I will tell you all about it another time) A family friend, whom my family has known for about thirty years was to get married on Friday evening, February 27. After considering that I would be seated with the Princess and Punk along with my X and his insignificant other, I had the sinking feeling that, depending on M'lady's mood, I just might be facing a firing squad. (Also another story to share over a case of wine)
AND THEN -
The Princess phoned and said that we'd have to consider child care for the Trio, her children, my grandchildren (Todd,11; Tess,10; Tanner, 7), not invited to the wedding, assuming that I would accept the invitation. We considered family members in New Jersey until I seized the moment and said: "Tiff! I'm not going to the wedding. I have a fabulous gift that I will send, but I won't be going. I'll baby sit!" With relief, I swear I could hear her smiling on the other end of the phone connection. YES! We would paint the town in Kettering, Ohio!
AND THEN -
About a week later, I was sent a notification that WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) would be appearing in Columbus, Ohio on March 5. Todd and I are veteran WWE patrons (Check out my blog: WWE, TODD AND ME) I phoned Tiff, unable to reach her, I left a message on the landline asking if I could take Todd to WWE on March 5. But, the Trio, in three part harmony returned the call, hours later and told me that they would be thrilled to ALL go to "Smack Down" or whatever. I jumped on that, but for four tickets: SOLD OUT! Now what?
AND THEN -
I received a notification that WWE ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA was happening at Madison Square Garden in New York City on...wait for it...wait for it...February 27! Readers, I can baby sit ANYWHERE as long as I have Triple T, my three charges with me! So, I phoned the Princess of Zanesville: "Hey Tiff! While you are at the wedding, the Trio and I will be at Madison Square Garden watching ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA. Thankfully, she does not have Power of Attorney over me, or she just might have had me committed to the basket weaving institution for the marginally insane. I did not wait for a reply, disconnected and ordered four ringside seats at Wrestlemania. I learned that Hulk Hogan was to be honored at that time as well! Well, you just can't beat that! My parents, aka: The Honeymooners, the Trio's great-grandparents live exactly nineteen miles from the Lincoln Tunnel on the New Jersey side. I phoned them and announced that I was bringing the children to visit them for the day - February 27th and from there we would go to the show. We would spend the night and on Saturday, head back. I was trying to pray and strategize between snow storms. The Honeymooners were not impressed. Even though they wanted to see the children, they thought that I was out of my mind to "baby sit" from Ohio, across Pennsylvania, through New Jersey and then New York. There was the idea that I could baby sit anywhere, but really...EVERYWHERE?
WELL -
They began the "shrink cycle" whereby I am demoted from 60 to 4 1/2 years old. "What's that going to cost you? How can you consider driving in the winter with three children? What if it snows? What if one of you has to use a restroom? NEW YORK CITY- What 's wrong with you? When exactly do you think that you'll grow up to be a responsible adult? Well, you'll have to stay here, and that's that! Jeremy and Tori will have to take off for the day!" (Jeremy, my nephew, 22 year old graduate student, living in their house because it is close to the University and Tori, my niece, 17 years old more that thrilled to be truant for any reason, or none at all). They continued: "Todd loves playing with Jeremy and Tori will make over Tess. Poor Tanner getting dragged across the country! What is wrong with you traveling all over when it may, to repeat, snow? You have no sense! You are going to drive into the City? Are you nuts? How do you think you can keep track of three children in the City and at the Garden?" And on and on and on and on for two weeks, twice a day, they took to the airwaves and sang "the same old song" and Motown had nothing to do with it!
SO -
On Thursday, the 26th, I picked up Todd, Tess, Tanner at school after picking up their suitcases, blankets, electronics. We sang and giggled as far as Bethel, Pennsylvania. When we pulled into a snappy hotel parking lot (reservations based on indoor pool, hot and cold running snacks and hot breakfast), with total frustration, Todd jumped into the front seat, ordered me to start the car again, fiddled with the screen on my dashboard and managed to get the sound working on the navigation system and told me to stop trying to shut her up, because the volume mutes every time, "You yell at her Meme!" (may-may). After dinner at the "Midway" (I highly recommend it), we (Todd and I) relaxed poolside, swam like fish, pumped up some music volume (ask Todd) and practiced a little hip-hop dancing (Tess and Tanner). We were happy 1. to be out of the car and 2. have something to do...okay, okay, maybe silly to normal adults, but no normal adult accompanied us. Throughout the night, with the Disney Channel on the television, Tess and I shopped on the "Justice" website, Todd made a simulcast video on the computer, Tanner nibbled, nudged and managed to maintain his primary hobby of getting under foot and on nerves. At breakfast Todd took upon himself to make us all waffles (shhhhh..I don't like waffles, but don't tell him), Tanner scooped fruit and Tess brought me coffee (and conned her way into a cup for herself). We hit the road again and exploded into my parents' house as if we were shot out of a cannon. Jeremy and Todd talked Wrestlemania and stars from Jeremy's childhood in WWF, Tori turned Tess from a 10 year old, into a 18 year old, Tanner helped Tess wash her face. At 88 and 86 years old, I would say that the Honeymooners took it rather well.
AND THEN -
The trio clambered into the car...off to Madison Square Garden. I had driven in and out, around New York for 1,000,000 years, so we managed to get there without incident and park right in MSG's parking lot a few feet from the main entrance. (Yes, I made a reservation in advance)
Our seats were phenomenal! Tanner slipped in first, then Tess, next Todd and I was on the aisle. I could see the whites of the performers' eyes without my glasses and I am seriously near-sighted. The choreography, effects, personalities, energy in the Garden enveloped us and we were swept into the fun frenzy of the evening! I noticed how times have changed I can remember bringing my children into Madison Square Garden for events and purchasing battery operated "Circus Lights" to twirl light with the crowd. At one point, the announcer said, "Light the light for...." (whomever). Todd screeched and grabbed my cell phone: "Meme! Quick! Give me your phone!" He slid and pushed on the screen along with the crowd, he waved a light/flashlight! I looked across the Garden and saw a sea of twinkling cell phone lights!
Hulk Hogan, the ultimate showman, embraced the entire crowd. He was gracious, endearing (always was). The tribute to him left no dry eye. As he exited the ring and passed us, Todd yelled out: "HULKSTER" standing on his seat, striking the typical pose that Hogan usually does. Hulk Hogan stopped, turned, connected with Todd and gave him the pose/point right back! I honestly thought that Todd would stop breathing! He began screaming: "Meme! He knows me! Hulk Hogan knows me!"
Awesome man that Mr. Hogan, in my opinion.
We lingered in the parking garage. But, remember this was "VIP", reservation area Well, I hung back because I saw some impressive SUV's parked near the cashier's booth. Equipment trucks were at the "stage door" and it was securely blocked from the public. I observed that passenger vehicles were not there. The boys were perched on a barricade, so to speak. Of course, we were told that they should get down. (Maybe next month) Suddenly, some of the performers, their handlers, and you guessed it,.. the Hulkster walked past us to get into those vehicles. Tanner reached out and touched Roman Raines (I believe) who smiled and said: "Hey there pal". Hulk Hogan winked at Todd and said, "Hey Bud, be careful there!" Tess quickly said: "Wait until I tell Lila (frenemy) at school), that Todd and Hulk Hogan are friends and that we spent time in New York with him." Not untrue totally, and Lila is a snit. Todd at that point practically did go into cardiac arrest, he was so overwhelmed!
LATER -
As we sat in the Tick Tock Diner, back in Jersey afterwards for a snack, the Triple T rehashed the evening, embellishing where they could, my mind was spinning: trip through Ohio, Pennsylvania, Jersey, to New York - $450. VIP, Reservation parking: $65 plus tip. Tickets for a memorable show- $592. Sitting in the diner (where I sat late night after dates for years and years before) and seeing Todd's face still lit up and those blue, blue eyes sparkling and dancing as he said: "Meme! Thank you! Thank you! I'll never forget this night! You are the best grandmother ever!. This was the best trip and best night of my life! Right?" (Deferring to Tess and Tanner, who agreed wholeheartedly) ...PRICELESS! I was so happy that I decided that with Todd, Tess and Tanner to hit the ROAD (THROUGH OHIO, PENNSYLVANIA, NEW JERSEY, INTO NEW YORK) TO WRESTLEMANIA!
AND THEN -
The Princess phoned and said that we'd have to consider child care for the Trio, her children, my grandchildren (Todd,11; Tess,10; Tanner, 7), not invited to the wedding, assuming that I would accept the invitation. We considered family members in New Jersey until I seized the moment and said: "Tiff! I'm not going to the wedding. I have a fabulous gift that I will send, but I won't be going. I'll baby sit!" With relief, I swear I could hear her smiling on the other end of the phone connection. YES! We would paint the town in Kettering, Ohio!
AND THEN -
About a week later, I was sent a notification that WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) would be appearing in Columbus, Ohio on March 5. Todd and I are veteran WWE patrons (Check out my blog: WWE, TODD AND ME) I phoned Tiff, unable to reach her, I left a message on the landline asking if I could take Todd to WWE on March 5. But, the Trio, in three part harmony returned the call, hours later and told me that they would be thrilled to ALL go to "Smack Down" or whatever. I jumped on that, but for four tickets: SOLD OUT! Now what?
AND THEN -
I received a notification that WWE ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA was happening at Madison Square Garden in New York City on...wait for it...wait for it...February 27! Readers, I can baby sit ANYWHERE as long as I have Triple T, my three charges with me! So, I phoned the Princess of Zanesville: "Hey Tiff! While you are at the wedding, the Trio and I will be at Madison Square Garden watching ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA. Thankfully, she does not have Power of Attorney over me, or she just might have had me committed to the basket weaving institution for the marginally insane. I did not wait for a reply, disconnected and ordered four ringside seats at Wrestlemania. I learned that Hulk Hogan was to be honored at that time as well! Well, you just can't beat that! My parents, aka: The Honeymooners, the Trio's great-grandparents live exactly nineteen miles from the Lincoln Tunnel on the New Jersey side. I phoned them and announced that I was bringing the children to visit them for the day - February 27th and from there we would go to the show. We would spend the night and on Saturday, head back. I was trying to pray and strategize between snow storms. The Honeymooners were not impressed. Even though they wanted to see the children, they thought that I was out of my mind to "baby sit" from Ohio, across Pennsylvania, through New Jersey and then New York. There was the idea that I could baby sit anywhere, but really...EVERYWHERE?
WELL -
They began the "shrink cycle" whereby I am demoted from 60 to 4 1/2 years old. "What's that going to cost you? How can you consider driving in the winter with three children? What if it snows? What if one of you has to use a restroom? NEW YORK CITY- What 's wrong with you? When exactly do you think that you'll grow up to be a responsible adult? Well, you'll have to stay here, and that's that! Jeremy and Tori will have to take off for the day!" (Jeremy, my nephew, 22 year old graduate student, living in their house because it is close to the University and Tori, my niece, 17 years old more that thrilled to be truant for any reason, or none at all). They continued: "Todd loves playing with Jeremy and Tori will make over Tess. Poor Tanner getting dragged across the country! What is wrong with you traveling all over when it may, to repeat, snow? You have no sense! You are going to drive into the City? Are you nuts? How do you think you can keep track of three children in the City and at the Garden?" And on and on and on and on for two weeks, twice a day, they took to the airwaves and sang "the same old song" and Motown had nothing to do with it!
SO -
On Thursday, the 26th, I picked up Todd, Tess, Tanner at school after picking up their suitcases, blankets, electronics. We sang and giggled as far as Bethel, Pennsylvania. When we pulled into a snappy hotel parking lot (reservations based on indoor pool, hot and cold running snacks and hot breakfast), with total frustration, Todd jumped into the front seat, ordered me to start the car again, fiddled with the screen on my dashboard and managed to get the sound working on the navigation system and told me to stop trying to shut her up, because the volume mutes every time, "You yell at her Meme!" (may-may). After dinner at the "Midway" (I highly recommend it), we (Todd and I) relaxed poolside, swam like fish, pumped up some music volume (ask Todd) and practiced a little hip-hop dancing (Tess and Tanner). We were happy 1. to be out of the car and 2. have something to do...okay, okay, maybe silly to normal adults, but no normal adult accompanied us. Throughout the night, with the Disney Channel on the television, Tess and I shopped on the "Justice" website, Todd made a simulcast video on the computer, Tanner nibbled, nudged and managed to maintain his primary hobby of getting under foot and on nerves. At breakfast Todd took upon himself to make us all waffles (shhhhh..I don't like waffles, but don't tell him), Tanner scooped fruit and Tess brought me coffee (and conned her way into a cup for herself). We hit the road again and exploded into my parents' house as if we were shot out of a cannon. Jeremy and Todd talked Wrestlemania and stars from Jeremy's childhood in WWF, Tori turned Tess from a 10 year old, into a 18 year old, Tanner helped Tess wash her face. At 88 and 86 years old, I would say that the Honeymooners took it rather well.
AND THEN -
The trio clambered into the car...off to Madison Square Garden. I had driven in and out, around New York for 1,000,000 years, so we managed to get there without incident and park right in MSG's parking lot a few feet from the main entrance. (Yes, I made a reservation in advance)
Our seats were phenomenal! Tanner slipped in first, then Tess, next Todd and I was on the aisle. I could see the whites of the performers' eyes without my glasses and I am seriously near-sighted. The choreography, effects, personalities, energy in the Garden enveloped us and we were swept into the fun frenzy of the evening! I noticed how times have changed I can remember bringing my children into Madison Square Garden for events and purchasing battery operated "Circus Lights" to twirl light with the crowd. At one point, the announcer said, "Light the light for...." (whomever). Todd screeched and grabbed my cell phone: "Meme! Quick! Give me your phone!" He slid and pushed on the screen along with the crowd, he waved a light/flashlight! I looked across the Garden and saw a sea of twinkling cell phone lights!
Hulk Hogan, the ultimate showman, embraced the entire crowd. He was gracious, endearing (always was). The tribute to him left no dry eye. As he exited the ring and passed us, Todd yelled out: "HULKSTER" standing on his seat, striking the typical pose that Hogan usually does. Hulk Hogan stopped, turned, connected with Todd and gave him the pose/point right back! I honestly thought that Todd would stop breathing! He began screaming: "Meme! He knows me! Hulk Hogan knows me!"
Awesome man that Mr. Hogan, in my opinion.
We lingered in the parking garage. But, remember this was "VIP", reservation area Well, I hung back because I saw some impressive SUV's parked near the cashier's booth. Equipment trucks were at the "stage door" and it was securely blocked from the public. I observed that passenger vehicles were not there. The boys were perched on a barricade, so to speak. Of course, we were told that they should get down. (Maybe next month) Suddenly, some of the performers, their handlers, and you guessed it,.. the Hulkster walked past us to get into those vehicles. Tanner reached out and touched Roman Raines (I believe) who smiled and said: "Hey there pal". Hulk Hogan winked at Todd and said, "Hey Bud, be careful there!" Tess quickly said: "Wait until I tell Lila (frenemy) at school), that Todd and Hulk Hogan are friends and that we spent time in New York with him." Not untrue totally, and Lila is a snit. Todd at that point practically did go into cardiac arrest, he was so overwhelmed!
LATER -
As we sat in the Tick Tock Diner, back in Jersey afterwards for a snack, the Triple T rehashed the evening, embellishing where they could, my mind was spinning: trip through Ohio, Pennsylvania, Jersey, to New York - $450. VIP, Reservation parking: $65 plus tip. Tickets for a memorable show- $592. Sitting in the diner (where I sat late night after dates for years and years before) and seeing Todd's face still lit up and those blue, blue eyes sparkling and dancing as he said: "Meme! Thank you! Thank you! I'll never forget this night! You are the best grandmother ever!. This was the best trip and best night of my life! Right?" (Deferring to Tess and Tanner, who agreed wholeheartedly) ...PRICELESS! I was so happy that I decided that with Todd, Tess and Tanner to hit the ROAD (THROUGH OHIO, PENNSYLVANIA, NEW JERSEY, INTO NEW YORK) TO WRESTLEMANIA!
Saturday, January 31, 2015
DIZZY DIAL SPINNING
It is no secret that I am not exactly a baby. Chronologically speaking, smartie pants! I have always been able to drive any automobile planted on this fabulous planet of ours! I borrowed Skip's souped up Charger to do my practice teaching roughly 100 years ago. Never having a car of my own until I began teaching, I could handle Dad's Chevelle ('66) and Maverick ('70). My cousins taught me how do drive in a '68 Impala (too big, thanks) and a something of other Covair (yes, perfect size). I could handle my cousin's Gremlin that ran on 3 of 4 cylinders. I can't say that I was particularly skilled, but I could handle Steve's old, old, black Impala. Time passed...
In the Dark Ages, I signed a contract to teach in Wayne, New Jersey! At 11 A.M., Mr. Van Dyken, the principal, welcomed me aboard. At 1 P.M., that day, Dad and I were sitting in "Wayne Ford"...a dealership for my own car! YES!!! Grandpa Scillieri (aka, Ralph the Barber) had money for his grandchildren set aside. There was the deposit! My father lost his marbles because I was so anxious, I really wouldn't let him negotiate a good price. No worries!!! I had my very own, brand new, 0 miles on it, 1971 white with black vinyl roof Ford Pinto!!!!I was on fire!
In '72, Ann Banks ran a stop sign and in spite of major body surgery on my wheels, the passenger seat remained a little crooked. By the time my son was born during the Blizzard of '78, my Pinto was a little saggy. I held wires for the heater together with a cable stitch holder that I procured from my knitting supplies. But, she was still mine, all mine! The day that we sold it (or possibly paid some nice people to take it ), I crumpled up in the driveway and cried. Steve bought a Ford Fairmont station wagon for our new growing family. I could handle it, but I could have lived with or without it... (okay, hitchhiking with two little children would have been a chore). Next was a garbage can grey Audi. Within nine months, it went back to the dealership thirteen times. It was after that, Lemon Laws were invented. We began a string of Mercedes...no complaint. Ron negotiated a Malibu here in Ohio for me. Nick, my son, drives it now. I purchased a brand new Mazda 3 two years ago. Read about its fate in my blog, INTO THE WOODS, OVER THE RAINBOW BRIDGE. I began to think that I really didn't want to drive a motor vehicle again. My "ride" about which Steve often teases really keeps me out of trouble. But, riding a broomstick to St. Albert's is not realistic.
So, a few weeks ago, I gathered my nerve, in spite of the fact that I wanted a friend to do test driving for me at dealerships, and purchased a 2015 Chrysler 200. Here's the glitch... The whole contraption is loaded with buttons and dials. There is even a weird shaped button for the emergency brake. One can "remote" start, but to actually drive, press a button with a foot in a certain position on the brake pedal. On a console, that the Jetsons installed before Dave earned his commission, one will find: a dial for the radio, a dial for climate, a dial for gears, a dial to dial activation of dials! There is a snappy screen in the what would have been known as a dashboard in another century. Now that houses a back-up camera (now I see you Ms. Nosey with your dog), a GPS, touch screen in case you miss a dial for the same features mentioned. On the steering wheel, I can do everything including phone the White House...I know, I know...WHY?
Well, I tried to start the car and was rudely reminded by the gnome living inside of a dial to place my foot on the brake, press the correct control. I turned down the radio by activating air-conditioning (it was seven degrees outside at the time). I adjusted the "climate" by nearly throwing the thing into neutral. The radio blasted and took out 45% of my hearing when I tried to put the thing in "drive." I answered the phone by setting cruise control (which I never, ever would use, even if I aimed for it) and the wipers would up as blue tooth. I adjusted wipers by the mirror control! In other words...when I get into that car, I am a stranger in a strange dimension - just DIZZY DIAL SPINNING!
In the Dark Ages, I signed a contract to teach in Wayne, New Jersey! At 11 A.M., Mr. Van Dyken, the principal, welcomed me aboard. At 1 P.M., that day, Dad and I were sitting in "Wayne Ford"...a dealership for my own car! YES!!! Grandpa Scillieri (aka, Ralph the Barber) had money for his grandchildren set aside. There was the deposit! My father lost his marbles because I was so anxious, I really wouldn't let him negotiate a good price. No worries!!! I had my very own, brand new, 0 miles on it, 1971 white with black vinyl roof Ford Pinto!!!!I was on fire!
In '72, Ann Banks ran a stop sign and in spite of major body surgery on my wheels, the passenger seat remained a little crooked. By the time my son was born during the Blizzard of '78, my Pinto was a little saggy. I held wires for the heater together with a cable stitch holder that I procured from my knitting supplies. But, she was still mine, all mine! The day that we sold it (or possibly paid some nice people to take it ), I crumpled up in the driveway and cried. Steve bought a Ford Fairmont station wagon for our new growing family. I could handle it, but I could have lived with or without it... (okay, hitchhiking with two little children would have been a chore). Next was a garbage can grey Audi. Within nine months, it went back to the dealership thirteen times. It was after that, Lemon Laws were invented. We began a string of Mercedes...no complaint. Ron negotiated a Malibu here in Ohio for me. Nick, my son, drives it now. I purchased a brand new Mazda 3 two years ago. Read about its fate in my blog, INTO THE WOODS, OVER THE RAINBOW BRIDGE. I began to think that I really didn't want to drive a motor vehicle again. My "ride" about which Steve often teases really keeps me out of trouble. But, riding a broomstick to St. Albert's is not realistic.
So, a few weeks ago, I gathered my nerve, in spite of the fact that I wanted a friend to do test driving for me at dealerships, and purchased a 2015 Chrysler 200. Here's the glitch... The whole contraption is loaded with buttons and dials. There is even a weird shaped button for the emergency brake. One can "remote" start, but to actually drive, press a button with a foot in a certain position on the brake pedal. On a console, that the Jetsons installed before Dave earned his commission, one will find: a dial for the radio, a dial for climate, a dial for gears, a dial to dial activation of dials! There is a snappy screen in the what would have been known as a dashboard in another century. Now that houses a back-up camera (now I see you Ms. Nosey with your dog), a GPS, touch screen in case you miss a dial for the same features mentioned. On the steering wheel, I can do everything including phone the White House...I know, I know...WHY?
Well, I tried to start the car and was rudely reminded by the gnome living inside of a dial to place my foot on the brake, press the correct control. I turned down the radio by activating air-conditioning (it was seven degrees outside at the time). I adjusted the "climate" by nearly throwing the thing into neutral. The radio blasted and took out 45% of my hearing when I tried to put the thing in "drive." I answered the phone by setting cruise control (which I never, ever would use, even if I aimed for it) and the wipers would up as blue tooth. I adjusted wipers by the mirror control! In other words...when I get into that car, I am a stranger in a strange dimension - just DIZZY DIAL SPINNING!
Thursday, December 18, 2014
INTO THE WOODS NEAR THE RAINBOW BRIDGE
"Ms. Macy, when you are ready, you can pick up the final remains, you poor dear, but be thankful that the children and you are unharmed."
I wore black, tried to keep up a Christmas spirit, attempting to sing along with carols blasting a rental car's radio. I was too nervous, numb to drive. An old faithful friend drove me to Rutherford's Auto Body Shop in Pickerington, Ohio. That was where I would say farewell to a reliable, faithful friend...my car. Upon our arrival, I was handed a bag in which I could finish clearing what I had left before the tow truck came to the Zanesville driveway. Garage door opener and ice scraper (like I had a car, never mind a windshield at this point). I sat in the car to remove a small broom riding witch from the rear view mirror. As I clung to her, I began to apologize to her, to the car, to the deer. My friend, most likely with a crowbar, eased me out of the corpse, mostly carrying me back to the shop's office. I was handed a box of tissues by the kind receptionist as a technician handed me my license plates! I was then inconsolable.
Let me explain: At about 6 P.M. on December 3, my grandchildren Tess (10, Tanner (7) and I set out to go to gymnastics. Todd, their brother, eleven years old, chose to remain at home with his Mom, my daughter. So, singing Christmas carols, we drove my 2012 Mazda 3 along South River Road in Zanesville, Ohio. The four lane road parallels a river. We were on the far side, fourth lane from the river. Suddenly, "on the fourth day of Christmas" there was a thud, a severe push to the side of the road, glass, airbags commandeered the car! Tanner, riding behind me, began screaming and crying...his airbag began pushing him to the other side of the car. "Tanner, try to undo the seat belt and scoot behind Tess (riding next to me - "shot gun") Hurry, something is wrong!" Tess, the swiftest of us: "Meme! (may-may) are you okay? Call 9-1-1!" I hadn't a clue what had happened. My driver's side air bag deployed, glass was everywhere from the driver's side windows! As I turned off the engine, at the side of the road, I looked out of my windshield to see a white mist, a white fog in the loose shape of a deer! The spirit arched over my hood and dissolved! There was nothing. "Tess! Did you see that?" Crying, both children responded that the ghost of a deer was there and gone!
A State Trooper recommended that I pull my car into a nearby side street. The driver's side of the car was terribly damaged. My door couldn't open, so I crawled across the car to exit. We were all unharmed. I was not scratched, cut, however, my seat was loaded with glass! The entire side no longer existed, really and there was not much left of the driver's front fender, headlight, part of the hood either. There was some fur wedged into a crevice though. A sweet woman walked over to me with a big black "thing" slung over her shoulder. "Hey M'am, where do you want your wheel well cover?" Dazed, I responded, "How about the trunk?" My son-in-law arrived with my daughter. He,trying to be helpful said: "Laura, you just can't see deer at night, you know. Hunting season has just begun and deer are running will-nilly." Gee, that made me feel better...NOT! I began to complain to the Trooper that since the deer didn't have insurance and since that poor creature was running from the river for his life, hunters should learn to go food shopping in stores and leave the deer alone! This is 2014, not pioneer days! My son-in-law assured me that he has had two deer crashes himself! Swell. My daughter, not so understanding. She began berating me for not being alert to have seen it coming, she didn't want the car returned to her driveway, that since I was a ninny, to just go home! Double swell. Tess spoke up and told her: "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! MEME DIDN'T AIM FOR A DEER! SHE USED TO WORK AT THE ZOO AND LOVES ANIMALS! TWO DEER LIVE IN HER YARD!" Tanner, still sobbing, told her: "Hey Mom! I was looking out of my window to try to see the river and I didn't see the deer! He hit my side of the car and I didn't see him!" The Trooper looked at this collection of crazies and was extremely sorry that he didn't call in sick that evening. MY son-in-law insisted that my daughter be quiet, that we bring the car back to the house. I asked the Trooper if I could drive it 132 miles back to Kettering. He guaranteed me that: 1. it wouldn't make it - it barely turned the corner to park out of traffic; 2. illegal to drive without two headlights; 3. no visibility with airbags inflated; 4. I would freeze without windows. The scenario sounded rather bleak!
Since we were only 1/4 mile from the house, my son-in-law said that he would drive the car back and I could drive his. Knowing that I would never drive again if I didn't put on my big girl panties and get behind the ailing car's wheel, I insisted that I take it back. As Mazda and I limped along, I stopped! My son-in-law, got out of his car, behind me, and approached: "Why are you stopping, here in the middle of the road?" As if he landed from Mars, I responded: "Look! All across the road, there is such a mess...the deer must be splattered all over!" He stood there, shook his head and said: "There is nothing! Drive on, or let me get in front of you and you take my car with the children." Hmmmm....strange. The Mazda and I continued.
My daughter's nasty was still raging. I ignored her. Todd ran to me: "Meme! Are you okay?" I assured him that I was "righter than rain". He then replied: "Oh boy! I miss all the good stuff! I shoulda gone to watch those two flip out and around! I could have seen it all and not gone to gymnastics after all!" Ah, to be eleven!
We are aware of "The Rainbow Bridge" where our pets wait to play with us again. After watching the spirit of the deer rise, I know that those poor beautiful creatures who meet accidental, untimely ends, through no fault of their own, play, forage, wait for their families if you go INTO THE WOODS NEAR THE RAINBOW BRIDGE.
Friday, November 7, 2014
EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! (Or Not)
There are two things that I must have to jump start my day. Well, actually, just to start my day, jumping or not...COFFEE and THE DAILY NEWSPAPER! I know, I know, there are at least 1,000,000 News Programs on the television. The ultimate morning entails sipping coffee, reading the paper with The Today Show tickling the background! Now, that is luxury living at its finest!
BUT...
This morning, the Newspaper was not at my door! Crushed, saddened, confused, I phoned the Newspaper Customer Disservice Office. I was told that someone or other would be dispatched to "redeliver" the paper within ninety minutes! If the newspaper didn't stagger to my door, be sure to phone before 10 A.M. to speak with Ms. Representative again. Well, I didn't want to argue, but how can a paper be redelivered, if it was never delivered in the first place? But, I did bite my tongue and refrained from my smartie-aleckie response.
SO...
I drained the coffee pot while watching the clock. At 9:50...no paper! At 9:53, I phoned Customer Disservice of the Dayton Daily News again. I was connected to an automated, press 1, press 3, press 2, spin around three times, press 7, spit, press 1 again system to file a complaint. Well, now what? I've callused my fingertips, gotten a headache from prompts and I still had no paper and no response! My grouchometer was elevated too!
WHAT THE CARELESS NEWSPAPER DON'T REALIZE:
Not only did I pay for this misery, but, I am now in a dark vacuum for the day, unless I actually shower, apply make-up, do my hair, dress, fire up my "ride" and go to a newsstand. The vital sections of the paper are like mother's milk to me! Take the Horoscopes for instance...now should I read my own Tarot Cards? Too boost my intelligence morale, how about the Word Jumble, the Word Scramble or the challenge of the Crossword Puzzle? The funnies - Life in Sketches! How can I check up on my parents without "The Lockhorns" or "Blondie"? My son - "Funky Winklebean" alternating with "Hagar Che Horrible". My three grandchildren are "Peanuts" if nothing else: Todd - Charlie Brown; Tess - Lucy; Tanner - Linus. My daughter is in the center ring of "The Family Circus"! What will I do for self affirmation that life is just dandy compared to the whiners who write to "Dear Abby"? Heloise has saved so many items of clothing sporting stains and how about that closet organization! What is opening in the Movies this weekend, or are the TV listings better? The Sports section has protected my work area from messes that are the by-products of my art projects. I can check the Business Section's Dow Jones to see if I have to go shopping to boost the economy of this great Nation of ours! See what I mean? I NEED THE NEWSPAPER! It is hereditary, you know: My grandfather loved to read the Obituaries to gloat - he was sipping his coffee reading about some peers of his who were listed, if you know what I mean. My mother can do a crossword puzzle in a flash, before most people can read the hints across and down. She also analyzes the Bridge strategy of legendary card players on the same page. My father is a headline hound, I think to boast to Mom that he's pretty smart after all (she doubts that very much). And, finished with today's paper? I can make you a paper mache piggy bank!
WELL...
My shower is water has warmed. Time to put myself together and go to the Newsstand because I have Home Delivery (not) of the Dayton Daily News and I want to READ ALL ABOUT IT!
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