GONE FISHING

My daughter was traveling for a week during the summer and my grandchildren - Todd, 10; Tess, 9 and Tanner, 7 (aka The Trio) stayed with me. Tiki, their cat and Figaro, Todd's goldfish came along for my care as well. The Trio, still impressed by my five years at the Central Park Zoo in NYC thought that I could care for any living thing. Todd's goldfish took up residence in a decorative snifter with floating candles that I have in my dining room. Figaro, I believe has moved in permanently. The week was fun, adventurous, all critters, human and/or not, thrived. My story begins when the Trio went to visit Bio-Dad. Excuse my sharky-ness. My daughter and their Dad have been divorced for a while. Their two week "visitation" was to start as my week ended. I seldom receive any communication fro the other camp, other than logistics of meeting to exchange the Trio. At 9:24, on a Tuesday morning, Tess called: "Meme! (may-may) I have a big goldfish here at my Dad's. It is about four or five inches long and really fat! I giggled and said: "Hey Tess! Is his name Chubby?" She groaned: "Meme! It's a girl!" Corrected, I replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, Tess, is her name Chubby?" Tess exhaled an eye rolling sigh: "Okay, if you want, you can call her Chubby. I don't want Chubby to live here and Mommy won't be happy when we meet her to go home with a great big goldfish! So, I asked Mary (Bio-Dad's fiance) if I could call you to pick her up! Can you come here to meet us and take my fish home with you? I want my fish to live with you so that when we come over, I have my fish to visit!" Warily, I responded: "Is this okay with Dad and Mary?" Tess, growing impatient: "Meme! Dad's at work, Todd is with him, Mary said we'd meet you what ever time is good for you" Hmmmm..."Tess, put Mary on the phone." A pause, Mary: "Tess said that you'll take the fish. Thank you, she's so happy What time is good for you?" We agreed that at 2:PM, I would arrive in Tipp City (one half hour drive from my door) to pick up Chubby. I quickly showered, dressed, made up (casual, summer shear) and headed for the pet store. After explaining that Figaro wouldn't be safe with a big, still sight unseen Chubby in a snifter, which would be too small for Chubby anyway, the sympathetic (but very amused at the story) clerk helped me based on the amount that I wanted to spend - $0.00 and what I had to spend - $75.00 plus tax and a donation for the local animal shelter to feed homeless kitties and puppies. The "alert" sounded on my phone with an urgent message as I staggered to my car with Chubby's new digs. Mary sent me a text: "Tanner wants the minnows. Can he have them to take to your house too? And, if so, how many? He has about a dozen. He fell in love with them. I tried to talk him out of it, but he wants to save them. It's hard for me to say no to him! Lol!" My response: "Oh, sure. Let him keep them all. Why not? I've never seen a minnow. Priscilla (my cat) has a new cookbook: '101 Ways To Cook Fresh Fish'. Sounds like a fish fry!" Minnows? I phoned a friend on the way to the rendezvous with Mary, Tess, Tanner and new finned friends. "I'm on my way to pick up a huge goldfish and some minnows. I don't know how to care for minnows. I've never seen a minnow!" Deep laughter emitted from my phone: "Ah, you might mean guppies...small colorful. Minnows are bait or feeder fish. Minnows are skinny, grey, little. They aren't pets." Hmmmm. I assured him that I didn't misunderstand and that I would let him know. Two children ran to me, jumped and hugged me giggling. Mary carried a huge carton containing an enormous fishbowl (with Chubby and the minnows. Hey! Sounds like a rock band!), two nets (one large, one small), a few decorative rocks, fish food and secured it in my little white car! "Thank you so much! The children love you so! You really are a wonderful grandmother, you know! Give Meme hugs and kisses and let's go to the park!" I thanked Mary for the compliments, smiled about the fish (sort of), assured her that Priscilla would have a dilly of a fish fry and headed for home. She laughed and said to enjoy the fry! On the way, I phoned my friend back: "Hey, I'm on the way to cross the Kettering border with Chubby and a slew of skinny, grey, little fish." A deep laugh: "Well girl, better go fishing! You've got yourself a mess of minnows!" Priscilla was waiting for me with her frying pan on the counter as I struggled to bring in the fish cargo. I immediately told her: "Pris! Shame on you! You know GRILL, don't FRY!" She muttered something about health freaks and climbed on to the counter to supervise move-in day with a scowl. Ugh...mount background scene; put filters in the filter; wash stones, arrange plants...I should be a decorator! Oh, wait, I am an aquarium decorator. Finally, something water to neutralize it - like wetness? Time for Chubby t move into her new home. Ah-ha...right. For twenty-seven (yes, that was 27) minutes, armed with the larger net, I launched a high speed chase to capture Chubby to more her scaly, finny body into the tank. I was wet, tired and losing the sea battle badly! Finally, Pris stuck her paw in one side of the bowl and voila! Chubby practically jumped into my net on the other side! The tank sits on one end of the piano, the snifter with Figaro on the other. This project did not get any easier! I cleaned out the mega-bowl after spending forty-two (yes, 42) minutes corralling, are you ready? Corralling eighteen (yep, 18) minnows to transfer to the cleaning/holding bowl. A circus performer couldn't be more flexible and fast to be sure! After cleaning mega-bowl, placing a cute grey stone in the bottom, I went on a minnow round up again to move them into their spacious studio apartment. You guessed it: 57 minutes to gather these little beasts, practically one at a time. A floating candle on the top should put me on the cover of "Home Decor International". That lovely domain rests between the other two. I dried the kitchen, disinfected, mopped, scrubbed myself senseless (ah, that may have been the problem in the beginning). I snapped pictures of Chubby and MInnow World to text to Mary to text to Mary to share with the children. Her response: "You're awesome! Enjoy the fish fry!" As Priscilla and I settled back for a cup of tea and to rehash the day, my cell phone blasted its "Pirate Jig" ringtone. God love friends who say: "I hope you don't miss the children too much. Use the time to do what you want to do. Where were you earlier?" Frankly, I had "gone fishing"!