SPINNING IN CIRCLES BACK TO SCHOOL

With the timing of a pro-avoider, my daughter decided to leave town to move some things from a house that she and her husband were selling just as a new school year began for the Trio, her children, my grandchildren: Todd, 10; Tess, 9; Tanner, 7. In other words, she left Zanesville, Ohio for Naples, Florida with clear, distinct, detailed instructions: "Mom, school starts on the 18th (Why Ohio, why August? In good old New Jersey, we started in September). Button up having the kids ready and don't forget that they should be on time! Try to keep the morning stress free. Have fun!" So, for days before the school bell rang at Bishop Fenwick Catholic School, we bought a new "Sonic" lunchbox and "Sonic" eyeglass case to match Todd's "Sonic" backpack; bought Tess' cheerleading bloomers; smocks bought and personalized (I embroidered their names on them at about 2 A.M. in the morning): the right, "cool", but uniform friendly, shoes; decorative basket for Tess' room; three sets of headphones; Tanner's new back pack; Tess' complete "Justice" ensemble of backpack, lunch box, water bottle sporting a "T" on everything; haircuts for the boys and a trim for Tess; all meals out for days as we continued to move swiftly through unending supply lists. Whew! On the eve of the first morning, we steamed uniforms, stood new backpacks at the door, made lunches! Thinking we were organized, in great shape, it then began: "Meme! (may-may) I can't find any white knee socks! I may have to wear ankle socks, but you aren't allowed! Should I wear pants instead? Oh no! These shoes don't go! I hate these!" That was Tess for starters. And then Tanner: "I don't want to try on this stuff!" Todd: "We have to tr your stuff on! Meme! These pants are too tight! We just bought these! What's up with that? I think you shrunk them while you were steaming." Tanner: "My pants are falling down!" Todd and Tess: "Wear a belt! It's part of the uniform!" There followed: "I can't find a belt!" "Check the belt drawer!" "Do we have a belt drawer?" And the finale: "Tomorrow we can't go to school! Let's go shopping and start over. We can go out for lunch too!" Seriously? Finally, scrubbed, shampooed, jammied, breakfast orders placed with the misguided idea of saving time, the Trio managed to giggle themselves to sleep. my The dawning of the First Day of School for the 2014-1025 School Year! We pride ourselves on consistent chaos as usual! Why does school start soooooo early? Just asking. The boys confused their uniforms; again, the magical mystery belt conflict reared its ugly head. Tess awoke with smooth, silky hair. I cringed when I heard: "Meme! For the first day of school, I'm going to curl my hair! I can do it myself while you make breakfast!" Tanner: "Meme! This shirt stretched overnight!" Todd: "Take it off! It's mine!" Eggs, bacon, toast, hot chocolate ordered last night turned into cold cereal with the garnish: "You don't want milk on that do you, just throw it in a cup it in a cup and eat it in the car!" After twenty minutes of trying to free Tess' tangled hair from the curling iron, without shaving her head, the whole "on time" concept was fading. Six feet scrambled into shoes in the back of my car and then I remembered: The classic "First Day of School Photo Shoot!" Oh nuts! "Get out! Grab your backpacks (hey at $75 a pop, they were picture worthy) and line up on the step..SMILE! Another year of school is here!!! Smile! Don't grit your teeth and mummer!" A quick snap of the camera phone, photo texts to Mom and Grandpa, we were off! We careened to TAnner's school first. The same Bishop Fenwick School has grades K-3 in one building and up a hill on the other side of Main Street, is the Middle School - Grades 4-8. Cars were lined up smartly as children walked into Tanner's building. I had exactly NO minutes to get the other two to their school door. Leaving my car in a nifty "no parking" zone, motor running, doors gaping open, I grabbed Tanner, his lunchbox flapping behind him, backpack swinging lethally, ran through cars as they screeched to a halt across the street, nearly knocking the good pastor over. Salvaging myself from ex-communication, I smiled, said,"Here's Tanner, have a great day, love you, see you later!" I raced back to the car (time saver to keep doors open and motor running). Practically running over three students, an older woman pushing a baby stroller and pushing traffic out of the way, I managed to pull up to the Middle School's door, just as Sr. Smiling...not so much...was about to close it! I slammed on the brakes, beeped the horn, waved and tried to control my hysteria: "Oh wait! Two more here!" Wanting to crawl into a crack in the pavement, but instead blowing me kisses, the duo, aka, Todd and Tess raced into the school. Fundamental rule of life: School begins and school is dismissed. I made the rounds picking up the Trio. We decided to go out for an early, early dinner to exchange the stories of the day at school. I asked: "Hey! do any of you have homework tonight, on the first day?" This brought an onslaught of laughter. I began to weigh the possibility of headlining in Las Vegas, if I ever got out of Zanesville. In three part harmony: "No Meme! But you do!" Piles of papers for me to sign (What happened to tree conservation?) Homework contracts, emergency info papers, behavior contracts, menus for the month, special enrichment subject acknowledgements and my personal favorite: "Notice that signature required here___________ acknowledging checking students' backpacks, folders and papers sent home for signatures." The Trio was pretty efficient pushing the papers in front of me and I have never been to slow with an autograph, so after an hour and a half, we managed to move smoothly through it all. Later, the circus wagon, aka, moving truck arrived with Mom. The driver, a friend of the globe trotters, announced that in the morning, before we all go our ways, he would make a huge breakfast. I warned him that we have to be in the car and down the driveway by 7:25 A.M. He said he understood. The next morning, slightly smoother than the one before, we assembled in a quiet, empty, clean kitchen. There was no breakfast action even as late as 7:18! We were running out of time. Thank goodness for my stash of Lucky Charms in my embroidery bag! Either Breakfast Man: 1. Has no children: 2. Has never attended DAY school; or 3. Had a death wish thinking that 7:18 was the time to begin! He appeared in the kitchen just as my signature: "You don't want milk in those Lucky Charms do you? Let's roll!" hung over the room. Cool Breakfast Man mumbled: "How about some scrambled eggs?" In an attempt to be polite rather than timely, we scrapped the Charms and by 7:40, we blew past two State Troopers, that little old lady pushing that stroller, nearly missed Tanner's principal's toes and threw body blocks against Todd and Tess' principal to hold the door open! I returned to the house to collect my bag, computer, sewing to return to home turf. Giving myself "atta girls" for managing to not have lost my touch for the first days of school, I froze in terror! Three brand new lunch boxes waved and mocked me at the door! Oh no! I snatched the rogue boxes, raced to Tanner's school first, introduced myself and surrendered his lunch. I then retraced the original route to the Middle School. The secretary buzzed me in and said: "Ah, Mrs. Macy, we're beginning the new year just as we ended the last!" Another contender to headline in Vegas! I smiled as sweetly as I could and asked that she give Todd and Tess their lunches. As I turned around, I collided with Todd: "Meme! I am so glad that you're here! We forgot our lunches! You shouda reminded us!" R-I-G-H-T, who knew, my bad! "Todd, can you bring Tess her lunch so that we don't have to disturb the machinery here anymore than we have?" The relieved secretary strained a smile and a happy Fifth Grader sang as he swung both lunch boxes skipping down the hall. As he rounded a corner, he turned, winked, smiled and said: "I love you Meme!" And so, the whirlpool slowed after SPINNING IN CIRCLES BACK TO SCHOOL!