I love my apartment. It is large. I have a deck and I even stashed a full sized electric grill on it with plenty of room for a table, four chairs, an antique milk can. Nice. I have a large living room with a wood burning fireplace. True, it's done in Vintage Lucy and RomperRoom (grandchildren's three rocking chairs, three "chests", you know the drill). I have a good sized dining room, eat in kitchen with a dishwasher that Columbus brought over here on the Santa Maria. My two bedrooms are spacious and I can soak or shower in either of my two full bathrooms. The swimming pool is open from Memorial Day through Labor Day. There is a gym, no tennis court (black mark in my book). You would think that when I received on Monday, a notice stuck in my door: REWARD TO PICK YOUR NEIGHBOR! $300 CASH IN YOUR POCKET! HAVE A FRIEND MOVE IN TO THE VILLAGER AND YOU BOTH WILL WIN AT THE VILLAGER LUXURY COMMUNITY!!! I would have jumped on it...
The next day, I received a notice...PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR NEIGHBORS. IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION THAT THERE WERE SCREAMING CHILDREN HEARD LAST NIGHT, blah, blah, blah. Oh, really? Well, my grandchildren were not there that day, night, the day before, the night before, the day after, the night after and were not there when the notice was cowardly stuck in the door...Hey Villager, are you nuts? We are complaining about ME? I think not!
Has anyone heard the man downstairs' cat howling all night with a friend beneath my window? Now, that is the sound of crying, screaming children. Listen sometime! How about the individual who has the dog that howls all night at the moon, stars and any passing emergency vehicle that screams past the complex? One of my personal favorites is the man who at four in the morning was shouting at his partner because he caught her in a compromising situation with another gentleman! The residents of The Villager heard that evening that she just isn't much for keeping her clothes on while doing the "oh yeahs" between the sheets...not his. A close second is the nasty man who at midnight kept yelling at children who were crying to "shut up" because he was on the phone. I think that my fellow Villagers would agree that he really didn't need the phone. Whoever was on the receiving end really only had to lean out of his/her window, even as far as China. Biker Dude doesn't really have show off all of his VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM at two in the morning and again at six that same morning, does he? I know that motorcycles are loud...but, he only kicks it into HI when the two previously mentioned men are out cold.
Who do I dislike enough to try to enlist as a "neighbor" in order that I collect the $300 prize? Let's see. The Playground has been dismantled and hauled away. The Club House is not available for residents to use with or without a fee because it has been redecorated and "well, you know" is what I was told. Hmmmm. Yep, that'll make someone feel really unwanted! The nut downstairs left me a pile of cigarette butts at my door that he figured I threw off of my deck...I DON'T SMOKE!!! I returned them with a note: "Thanks, but not my brand! Actually, not my sport!" Sure, an enemy just might want to spar with Mr. BloodShotBlue Eyes. Ah, ha. On the other hand...nah.
Yes, I live in a multi-family dwelling. I really do enjoy my fellow man. I don't complain. I could not really care about any of the above...until: 1. There is an unfounded complaint about me and 2. I am asked to find someone to torture, both in the same 48 hour period!
Share this bliss with a friend or foe? REALLY VILLAGER? ARE YOU KIDDING ME VILLAGER? Hey, TWO MEN AND A TRUCK, what are you doing this spring? Bring boxes for my things and a shredder for the due to be renewed lease!
Then again, The Villager let me in...wow, they really must need riff-raff in order to fill their vacancies.
Laura Macy Author & Actress
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Would THE VILLAGE PEOPLE Please Come Forward?
I have always wanted to be either Minnie Mouse or Cher when I grow up.
Minnie had it made with Mickey as her "steady". Have you seen her cute little cottage in Disney World? I want to live there. I must have had Minnie in mind when I jumped at Larry's suggestion that DARLA DARLING, THE DOMESTIC DIVA wear Polka Dots! (Darla is a cross between I Love Lucy and Marth Stewart...a TV character we created a few years ago). What Minnie had going on was that gorgeous pair of yellow pumps! I love watching her do "The Hot Dog" with Mickey and the crew on the Mickey Mouse Club! When no one is looking, I practice "The Hot Dog".
I love Cher. She can sing and looks great in CLOTHES, CLOTHES and skimpy clothes!!!!! She, in contrast to Minnie, has a lavish home. True, I have not been invited, however, if I were, I would be rendered speechless (no great task for me). I adored Cher belting out "I've Got You Babe" with Sonny. A few years ago, Larry and I were asked to do a skit as Mr. and Mrs. Hippie Claus on a local cable TV show in Dayton, Ohio. We, in true Sonny and Cher fashion did, you guessed it...I GOT YOU BABE! My dreams were realized in a red velvet gown with tie-dyed apron and cap, white side pony tail and wire rims! Not quite a Cher look alike, but the fantasy remains in my mind.
Time has passed. On my last birthday, a friend and I were strolling in The Oregon District of Dayton. It is the closed thing to the West Village of Manhattan that Dayton, Ohio has to offer. After a fantastic brunch and mind bending Bloody Mary, we passed a vintage/antique shop. On the sidewalk, "Feathers" displayed old record albums. I mean the real 33 1/3 deal! What did we find? THE VILLAGE PEOPLE - SLEAZY AND LIVE! A two record set! I was beside myself! I always loved David, the Construction worker and Randy, the Cowboy! Glenn was cool. Filipe, Ray and Alex I enjoyed, but I did have my favorites. (Hey, most girls swooned over Paul of the Beatles, right?) The point? I knew their names to this day! The album, by the way was vintage...1979! Ron ran into the shop, tried to have the owner tell me that he spent $500 for it. When I entered, she laughed and said that she hadn't met anyone who knew the names of THE VILLAGE PEOPLE and told me that she promised not to tell that he spent $200 for the album. I laughed right back at her and said that I heard that he spent a bank breaking $1.00 for the treasure!
As soon as I got home, I told my son that he was going to have to burn a CD of my find (four hour drive...was going to mail it) so that I could play the disc in my car. My grandchildren heard YMCA on the radio on the way to church and we managed to "dance" to St. Albert's loudly. I needed the disc pronto!
After discussing this with Rodney in Iowa, he just couldn't take the insanity to which he was listening! That week, a CD of "Live and Sleazy" arrived...Song #9 - MACHO MAN; Song # 10 - IN THE NAVY and Song #11 - YMCA! The children and I unwrapped the precious package that he sent, popped the disc in the player of my Malibu and after we phoned, on speaker, yelling "Thank you Rodney!" began to sing and dance! By the way, Nick is absolutely thrilled that he was relieved of the project.
I never listened to Songs 1-8...no need. I offer this thought to PBS and any other educational venue for children... Through THE VILLAGE PEOPLE, one can learn some history worthy of The History Channel.
The song, MACHO MAN, is really an essay about working out in a gym. During President Kennedy's administration, an emphasis on Physical Fitness became quite the rage. Of course, we have had Jack LaLaine, Bonnie Pruden and the like, but the Kennedy administration made physical fitness glamourous. The children and I had a discussion
The tradition of the YMCA,( listen closely to the words), has become obsolete. However, there was a purpose for the YMCA at one time. The children and I had a discussion.
This brings me to an interesting educational episode: After listening closely to the words of IN THE NAVY, Todd (8) was curious about... you know already... the Navy. After dancing and singing from Dayton to Kettering (no easy task when one is driving...don't tell Johhny Law), we ventured into the library where Todd stocked up on books about THE NAVY, the history of WWII battle ships, Naval history, noteable Admirals, maritine law. His thirst was unquenchable for facts, not fiction. The children and I had a discussion.
So, VILLAGE PEOPLE, thank you for making us dance and sing with fun and joy. Thank you for making what would be a Saturday escape from learning, a day to learn a valuable lesson, or many lessons (retro some of them), but interesting, to be sure. It's been said that anything that is learned is never wasted or lost. While you were looking rather sexy and giving us quite a beat, did you ever imagine that you would be an educational tool?
Minnie had it made with Mickey as her "steady". Have you seen her cute little cottage in Disney World? I want to live there. I must have had Minnie in mind when I jumped at Larry's suggestion that DARLA DARLING, THE DOMESTIC DIVA wear Polka Dots! (Darla is a cross between I Love Lucy and Marth Stewart...a TV character we created a few years ago). What Minnie had going on was that gorgeous pair of yellow pumps! I love watching her do "The Hot Dog" with Mickey and the crew on the Mickey Mouse Club! When no one is looking, I practice "The Hot Dog".
I love Cher. She can sing and looks great in CLOTHES, CLOTHES and skimpy clothes!!!!! She, in contrast to Minnie, has a lavish home. True, I have not been invited, however, if I were, I would be rendered speechless (no great task for me). I adored Cher belting out "I've Got You Babe" with Sonny. A few years ago, Larry and I were asked to do a skit as Mr. and Mrs. Hippie Claus on a local cable TV show in Dayton, Ohio. We, in true Sonny and Cher fashion did, you guessed it...I GOT YOU BABE! My dreams were realized in a red velvet gown with tie-dyed apron and cap, white side pony tail and wire rims! Not quite a Cher look alike, but the fantasy remains in my mind.
Time has passed. On my last birthday, a friend and I were strolling in The Oregon District of Dayton. It is the closed thing to the West Village of Manhattan that Dayton, Ohio has to offer. After a fantastic brunch and mind bending Bloody Mary, we passed a vintage/antique shop. On the sidewalk, "Feathers" displayed old record albums. I mean the real 33 1/3 deal! What did we find? THE VILLAGE PEOPLE - SLEAZY AND LIVE! A two record set! I was beside myself! I always loved David, the Construction worker and Randy, the Cowboy! Glenn was cool. Filipe, Ray and Alex I enjoyed, but I did have my favorites. (Hey, most girls swooned over Paul of the Beatles, right?) The point? I knew their names to this day! The album, by the way was vintage...1979! Ron ran into the shop, tried to have the owner tell me that he spent $500 for it. When I entered, she laughed and said that she hadn't met anyone who knew the names of THE VILLAGE PEOPLE and told me that she promised not to tell that he spent $200 for the album. I laughed right back at her and said that I heard that he spent a bank breaking $1.00 for the treasure!
As soon as I got home, I told my son that he was going to have to burn a CD of my find (four hour drive...was going to mail it) so that I could play the disc in my car. My grandchildren heard YMCA on the radio on the way to church and we managed to "dance" to St. Albert's loudly. I needed the disc pronto!
After discussing this with Rodney in Iowa, he just couldn't take the insanity to which he was listening! That week, a CD of "Live and Sleazy" arrived...Song #9 - MACHO MAN; Song # 10 - IN THE NAVY and Song #11 - YMCA! The children and I unwrapped the precious package that he sent, popped the disc in the player of my Malibu and after we phoned, on speaker, yelling "Thank you Rodney!" began to sing and dance! By the way, Nick is absolutely thrilled that he was relieved of the project.
I never listened to Songs 1-8...no need. I offer this thought to PBS and any other educational venue for children... Through THE VILLAGE PEOPLE, one can learn some history worthy of The History Channel.
The song, MACHO MAN, is really an essay about working out in a gym. During President Kennedy's administration, an emphasis on Physical Fitness became quite the rage. Of course, we have had Jack LaLaine, Bonnie Pruden and the like, but the Kennedy administration made physical fitness glamourous. The children and I had a discussion
The tradition of the YMCA,( listen closely to the words), has become obsolete. However, there was a purpose for the YMCA at one time. The children and I had a discussion.
This brings me to an interesting educational episode: After listening closely to the words of IN THE NAVY, Todd (8) was curious about... you know already... the Navy. After dancing and singing from Dayton to Kettering (no easy task when one is driving...don't tell Johhny Law), we ventured into the library where Todd stocked up on books about THE NAVY, the history of WWII battle ships, Naval history, noteable Admirals, maritine law. His thirst was unquenchable for facts, not fiction. The children and I had a discussion.
So, VILLAGE PEOPLE, thank you for making us dance and sing with fun and joy. Thank you for making what would be a Saturday escape from learning, a day to learn a valuable lesson, or many lessons (retro some of them), but interesting, to be sure. It's been said that anything that is learned is never wasted or lost. While you were looking rather sexy and giving us quite a beat, did you ever imagine that you would be an educational tool?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)