Every Christmas season, I transform into Mrs. Claus...shhhhh....don't tell the Grandchildren. I am hired at department stores, malls, private parties to jingle my bell wreath, spread cheer, sometimes read stories and share cookies. I love my Mrs. Claus alter ego. I do volunteer gigs at the local VA and assorted nursing homes. I dress at home and arrive at assorted venues in costume.
Last Monday, I was asked by a friend to visit a nursing home. I went, jingled bells, chatted with residents, distributed goodies with a few elves. We had so much fun. On the way back to my gingerbread cottage, I notice that the gas tank was totally empty. Fumes must have carried me into a gas station. In New Jersey, a driver remains in his/her car and an attendant pumps gas. Not so in Ohio. UGH...So, I got out of my vehicle decked out as the Mrs. of the Season. Before I managed to get around the car to the tank, a young father and mother with a toddler in their back seat stopped, near the pumps. "Hey! You're Mrs. Claus! Can I get your picture with my son?" I smiled, said: "Merry Christmas! Of course. The little boy was tense and unsure of the prospect of a strange stranger holding him. I suggested that the mother hold him and Dad snap the picture of us together. He loved it. Then, she took a picture of Dad, Toddler and me. As they were trying to figure out a group selfie, a man pulled up in the biggest pick up truck that I have ever seen. He jumped out of the tank and exclaimed: "Hey, I'm running late here! I need to fill up! I can't get near the pumps. What's goin' on here? Oh my God! Are you Mrs. Claus?" I smiled and responded: "Hi! Merry Christmas!" Young Dad said: "Hey pal, give me your phone, I'll take a picture of you with Mrs. Claus!" Pick up truck man: "Great idea! My pals will believe me that I'm late because I ran into Mrs. Claus if I have a picture!" As we posed and Dad snapped, an old, old man in a rusty, rusty, old, old truck came chugging up to us. He rolled down his window (yes, you could see the motion) and grouched: "What the heck is goin' on here? I need gas and holy cow! Are you Mrs. Claus? Where's your old man?" I smiled and said: "Merry Christmas! He's back at the North Pole getting ready for Christmas Eve, so I'm out and about for him." Old Man: "Well, honey, you just get back there and tell him that I want my own oil tanker, 'cause, I need gas!" With that Pick Up Truck man said: "Hey, relax, let me get your picture with Mrs. Claus." Old Man got out of his car, was putting his arm around me as the longest, oldest, most pristine Cadillac pulled up with an elegant, elderly woman at the wheel. Her window went down and she said: "I need to fill my tank. I don't see Mrs. Claus do I? If I tell my daughter, she will surely take my keys thinking that I'm hallucinating!" Young Dad, as Young Mom now started chasing Toddler said: "Come on over here M'am. Let's get you a picture with the real Mrs. Claus to shut up your daughter!" So, Elderly Woman eased out of her car with the assistance of Old Grouchy Man.
Eventually, cell phones, cell phone numbers were being passed around. Group selfie shots, individual shots of potential gas station customers being taken. Laughing, talking, singing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas!" Then, Gas Station Manager swaggered out to the congested pump area deeply entrenched in a traffic jam. "What's goin' on out here folks? Oh, man, are you Mrs. Claus? Geeze" I maintained my character: "Merry Christmas, Sir! I stopped for gas and apparently drew a croud." With this Dad asked Manager: "Hey, buddy, could you get a group shot of my friends here with me and Mrs. Claus?" Manager grimaced, shrugged, said: "Oh, what the H---" and arranged us for an optimal photo.
Gas Station Manager, then filled my tank, told me to tell Santa how generous he was and wished me a Merry Christmas. My other new friends, all waved as I pulled out and cried: "Thank you, Mrs. Claus! Merry Christmas to you!"
Of all of the performing that I have done over the years, I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be the MAIN ATTRACTION AT A GAS STATION!
