Recently, my grandchildren - Todd (9), Tess (8), Tanner (6) and I were having an extremely serious conversation. It went something like this: Todd: "Hey! Let's go to McDonalds. It has a big, big Play Place!" Tess: "Todd, no. Burger King is bigger! Let's go there! Right Tanner?" Now, Tanner quickly agreed with his older sister, mostly responsible for potty training and plays house and school with him. I had been thinking along the lines of Ruby Tuesday's for lunch, truthfully. I just love the salad bar. The trio appealed to me for a ruling about the bigger Play Place. Evidently, Ruby Tuesday's didn't hold a candle to either establishment in their minds.
"Well, I think that Burger King might be bigger, but I really can't be sure." Let's face it readers...I let them play while I jot notes on a pad, read the paper, read a book, or do a little embroidery. I have never bounced, climbed or experienced sliding down the slides frontwards or backwards! "I have an idea!" Keep in mind that as a grandparent, one has to remain open minded, fair. As a Libra, I have an underlying need to be a diplomat. "Let's have a competition. We can only make a fair call if we go to both on the same day to compare them. So, let's start at McDonalds's (I was in the mood for a caramel Frappe) and order food. We'll play for an hour exactly. We'll then go to Burger King for drinks and dessert and play for an hour there. After we've done both, we will know which Play Place is bigger for sure!" The three cheered as we raced to the car. I hesitated only to pack my "busy bag" with a book and embroidery).
We bounded into McDonald's. With Happy Meals all around and my super scrumptious drink, we began timing our play session. "Meme! (may-may), watch this! Meme, here I am, see me? Todd cut in front of me! Tanner, don't go up the slide!" Ah, an hour of pure joy!
"Time's up! Let's move on!" I called out. As the trio put their shoes back on, a rather attractive grandfather commented, "Wow! You're lucky. Those kids didn't give you an argument to leave! My grandson, Jake here would be throwing a fit if he only played for a little while!" I smiled, "Sir, we're having a contest. We have to run to Burger King for some research. The carrot here is that they can get slushies and another play experience!" He laughed, said that was the funniest thing that he heard all day (and I thought that I needed a life?) and told us to have fun. "Thanks", I replied, "I wouldn't have it any other way, but you enjoy yourself too! It was nice talking to you!" Away we went!
In Burger King, slushies and cookies secured, we raced into the Play Area. For an hour, "Meme! Watch this! Meme, here I am, see me? Todd cut in front of me! Tanner, don't go up the slide!" Ah another hour of pure joy!
"Time's up! Let's move on!" I called out. A young mother with five year old twins said, "I have to drag these two out or offer bribes to have them leave without a battle! How do you do it?" I replied that we were having a contest and had to have a discussion on neutral turf. She laughed and said that was pretty funny. I wondered why I was spending the day with the trio when I could do some stand-up comedy at Funny Bone.
In the car, I said, "Okay, we have to decide." Todd offered this suggestion: "Hey Meme! Why don't we get Frosties and talk about it?" So, we went to Wendy's, ordered Frosties, found a table and opened the conversation. Todd said that McDonald's was bigger. Tess (and Tanner) said that Burger King was bigger. Wasn't that the way we started out? I then decided to sound a little grown up (very little). "You know, McDonald's equipment looks bigger, because the actual 'place' is smaller. Burger King's room is twice the size, but I think that makes the equipment look smaller". Other patrons in Wendy's began to listen and look at us as if our spaceship from Mars was overheating in the parking lot. An employee, clearing a table nearby, commented, "you sound like experts." I told him about our contest. He asked me to adopt him.
We met Tiff (aka, their Mom, my daughter) later. She said, "What did you do today? Did you have fun? Let's go have a little dinner, you decide where and tell me all about it!" The four of us held our stomachs, groaned. She asked, "What's wrong?" As one chorus, we sang out, "Oh nothing! Your choice and we'll tell you all about it!"
Laura Macy Author & Actress
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