THE RESULTS ARE IN! THE ULTIMATE PIZZA COMPETITION!

The Trio and I were rehashing our latest "challenge" one afternoon. Let me explain:The Trio is made up of my grandchildren: Todd, 10; tess, 9 and Tanner 7. In the past, we had a contest between "McDonald's" and "Burger King". See the blog: THE CONTEST, written about a year or so ago. We recently cast our votes and opinions about Ice Cream Parlors during THE TRIPLE THREAT ICE CREAM CHALLENGE (blogged about a month ago, or so). Assorted friends and family have begun asking about our criteria and results. Some asked what our next competition would be. Fun with a purpose, you might say. Todd nixed Chinese. All three can use chop sticks, but he doesn't like the Cuisine at all. A light bulb went off among the three at the same time! The next contest: PIZZA! Armed with paper and pens, we jotted down our ideas, by which we would judge three local pizza shops. We labored, debated and decided which shops, the location, the categories to be judged and the scoring system. "Cassano's" would be running the race against "Marion's" and "Flyi8ng Pizza". "Cassano's" is a long time Dayton tradition. A pizza from Cassano's was the first Mid-West Pizza that I had ever tasted. I had never seen pizza cut into squares before! "Marion's" is also an old timer with a huge following. "Flying Pizza" is "New York style, imported from the East Coast. SLICES - YES!!!! I took our hand written notes and created "score sheets" for each of us. The three pizza establishments were to be judged on the number of toppings, the varieties of crusts. On a scale of 1 (worst) to 10 (best, we were to judge oily/dry, crust, freshness of ingredients, overall taste, inside atmosphere, cleanliness, decor, overall experience. I printed out the score papers, packed four pens in my purse (and a few dollars) to begin the ULTIMATE PIZZA COMPETITION! Over the course of three different days, three different "meals", we pursued PIZZA! We went to Cassano's first. One has to admire "Cassano's". It sponsors a display/installation at the "Boonshoft Children's Museum of Natural History" in Dayton, thereby, embracing fellow Daytonians. We enjoyed the dispositions of the staff, the restaurant in general. Pictures of old Dayton, old "Cassano's", Vic Cassano and celebrities adorned the walls. The crust had a slight hint of salt, but was perfect! The top -not dry, not oily whereby you have to blot, but, just right! We ordered a pepperoni pizza (Trio's favorite). As we licked our fingers and pushed away the empty pizza tray, we began our scoring. !Lively discussion, comparison of notations, "Cassano's" would be tough to beat! Before we went to pizzeria number two: "Marion's", I was told that "Marion's" would put "Cassano's" to shame. Well readers, the judges could not disagree more! "Marion's" pizza was dry, dry, dry! It was palatable because Todd kept the soda run going at a steady pace. Tanner said he filled up on the soda, because he couldn't eat the cardboard! Tess said that the little squares were great to make a craft project, maybe a mosaic of a picture of a pepperoni pizza? There was no pleasure to be had at all! The pepperoni was so old that I think that it was on Social Security and Disability all at once! Maybe "Marion's" was having a bad day. Plates were an issue until I got up and began to whine and scrounged some from the counter. The decor was pleasant enough, but, frankly, we were too hungry and disappointed to appreciate trees "growing" mid restaurant. And, society frowns upon gnawing on the furniture in public. We whipped out our score sheets and let the our pens' ink do its polka. before we left disappointedly! Our third and final contestant was "Flying Pizza". As a New Yorker/East Coaster, myself, I thought that "Flying Pizza" (New York import, new York Style...slices!) would sweep me away. The decor was nothing to look at ...a few New York Photos, but, hey, we were there to fill the pizza space in our tummies! Our order was interrupted twice by one customer who asked for water and another looking for a plate, but eventually taken. Then, we seated ourselves. A delicious looking pepperoni pizza was delivered to our table. Slices excited me! Dry crust that tasted like cardboard did not excite me so much. Tanner said that his teeth were going to crack, break and fall out of his mouth all at once! Todd doubted that and responded that his teeth were getting stuck. No breakage if you're stuck in a crust. Tess rolled her eyes and tried to make the best of the entire episode. Todd, finally removing his teeth from his slice, asked for a bag of potato chips. I never grasped the concept of potato chips with pizza, but, I chalk it up to a "Mid - West" thing. I got up, took a bag from a nearby rack and approached the counter in order to pay. I held a $5.00 bill in view and the bag of chips. There was not a single customer at the counter at that time. I stood watching two workers chat. I remained, in full view, totally ignored. I asked if one of the two could assist me, just as a customer came into the door. Attention was turned to the newly arrived individual. Assuming that I am constructed out of clear plastic wrap and invisible, I left the chips on the counter and returned to my seat announcing "POINTS OFF - PENALTY 5!" Of the fast food play places, of the ice cream parlors and previous "pizza joints", we had a new, unfamiliar issue: IGNORE- or lack of respect for the customer and indifferent disposition! We finished our so, so pizza. We took out our score papers and our lethal pens to begin. Those pens strutted their stuff on no uncertain terms! As we left, we politely said good-bye. The staff did reply, without looking up from their crossword puzzles, "Bye now!". Tanner turned as he straddled the threshold: "You lost points you know!" and scurried out of the door. Our findings: "Cassano's" blew the anchovies off of both "Marion's" and "Flying Pizza" with a combined score of 221.9 out of a possible 236! "Marion's slipped into second place only because "Flying Pizza" was in dire need of an attitude adjustment! The two were a whisper apart in the 118-117 range in second and third place! We are not "restaurant critics" by any stretch of the imagination. But, think about this...we are grandchildren with a grandmother out for pizza (or ice cream, or a bounce in a play place). Baby Boomers, like myself, are considered to be the "big spenders" of our era. At last count, 3.75 million Baby Boomers are entertaining their grandchildren. We are the Pizza consumers! OUr findings just might be advantageous for Pizza establishments to consider. My peers might accept our suggestions and possibly use our "results" (and a coupon) to determine where they will purchase pizza for their grandchildren. That being said, we had fun. I can't say that any of us are clamoring for pizza in the near future. We will be at "Cassano's" when we are, so look for us there! Let the pit fall of "Flying Pizza" teach Pizza merchants something though...Placement will be tarnished by questionable attitude in THE ULTIMATE PIZZA COMPETITION!

CAT SITTER OR GYMNAST?

Since my first grandchild was born, ten years ago, I have always vacationed with my daughter and the three children (now 10, 9 and 7).  We have gone to the beach, to the North Pole, Camp Yogi, every and any water indoor park, Disney World, Ft. Lauderdale, Pirate Dinners, Pirate Cruises, Naples, Florida, New York, New Jersey, Pawley's Island, South Carolina.  At any given time, we get up, get packed and GO! We have been well tuned, efficiently moving, well-oiled touring machines!

But, I broke my ankle!  I am having a difficult time healing.  I am in a walking cast which is heavy and cumbersome.  I am to "relax", curtail activity, limit travel, rest, remain close to my Doctors for constant visits.  UGH.  So, a family trip to the beach (Cape May, New Jersey) with inflexible dates, was not to include me.  The Trio and I were having a difficult time dealing with this, but, as my grandmother would say:  "This too, will pass."  In other words...get over it with style and grace!

While their Mom spent two days packing, getting her nails done, etc. in preparation for the family (minus one) vacation, I thought that I too, would have a sleepover, mini vacation with Todd, Tess and Tanner before they left.  We booked a hotel for two days with a spa and swimming pool, breakfast, accommodating staff, near a mall, restaurants, miniature golf, movie theatre and laser tag!  Firm ground...no shifting sand for my instability.  We shopped, ate, played, swam and I kept my leg elevated while they ran amuck!  After the pool closed for the evening at the hotel, Tess made me tea.  The boys created snacks.  Tess and I gave each other facials, pedicures and manicures!  They did their best to take care of Meme (may may).  Finally, the call came from Mommy: "We have a long ride Mom." (ten hours)  "Maybe, you should bring the children back at 11 this morning.  Everything is packed.  I even have Dad's birthday gift in the rental car."  Sadly, I relayed the message to the Trio.  We returned home.  The "Griswald" (Family Vacation - Chevy Chase) packed car was a reality before me.  Tearfully, we hugged, kissed, promised to call.  This sounds a little over the top for a week's separation, I do admit.  Upon their return, they knew that they would spend the week with Uncle Nick, Vacation Bible School and me...something to which we could all look forward!

Suddenly, Tiff (my daughter) came down the stairs with what we call "Tiki's Space Ship"!  This is a flying saucer shaped, covered litter box for Tiki, their pure white, affectionate, playful, silly cat!  Trying to be cool, collected, mature and dry eyed, I asked: "Tiff, what are you doing?"  Giggles erupted all around: "Meme!  You are taking Tiki home with you!  You won't miss us and you know we'll be right there after vacation  to see you and Tiki!  You two will have fun and you won't cry!"

I had to install Tiki in one of the bedrooms used by the Trio.  Priscilla, my cat, becomes an emotional and mental freak, leading to $3,000 Veterinary bills when her psychosis, insecurities, jealousy manifest themselves into a physical mess of a kitty!  In other words, Priscilla does not play hostess to Tiki with a smile.  She does not offer to play paper dolls, share vittles or breath the same air.  So, the "Space Ship" was placed at the far end of a rather large bedroom/playroom.  Far from it, Tiki's food dishes were assembled.  Disney Jr. played on the television for her entertainment.  Door firmly closed.

This morning, in a flimsy robe, walking cast and one slipper with nothing else on me at all, I ventured down the stairs to distract Priscilla with breakfast and treats before tending to Tiki.  I planned to then shower, dress in comfortable lounging clothes and relax with my leg elevated most if not all of the day to counter the exhaustion of the previous two days.  Maybe I would watch a little television with Tiki to keep her company for a little while.  And so, Saturday was to be stress free, easy, relaxed.

Priscilla was purring as she inhaled her treats at breakfast.  I fed the goldfish, which has taken up residence since the last trip that my daughter took, leaving me pets and children.  I loaded a silver tray (no joke) with goodies for Tiki and snuck down the hallway to Tiki's room.  I smartly opened  and closed the door quickly and firmly.  I scooped the space ship, watered, fed my house guest.  I changed the channel on the television to Westerns (Hey, it was Saturday, after all!)  We made chit chat, a little ear, chin rubbing, "I'll visit you later Tiki", took the tray of dirty dishes, etc. and headed for the door.

I turned the door knob.  Nothing caught to open the door!  I turned and turned and turned and turned the knob more and more and more and more!  Nothing.  I turned it the opposite way.  I turned and turned and turned and turned the knob again and again and again and again!  Nothing!  I could not get out!  My phone was upstairs.  The only other living, breathing beings in the house at the time were Priscilla (can't reach the knob) and the goldfish (can't scale the snifter from beneath floating candles)  Now what?  My aknle was throbbing, even in the boot.  I was panicking!

I was on the first floor.  The windows are rather large.  So, I opened the window and screen in the bedroom.  Tiki was hot on my trail.  I kept telling her to go away and "spot" me from the other side of the room.  I tossed some jingle bells (Tanner had been playing with them last week) across the floor. Tiki took off after them.  I scratched my --- sliding out of the window of the brick palazzo.  I had the presence of mind to hang on by a thread, so to speak, to the screen to close it, confining Tiki.  I am glad that the neighbors are either not nosey, or not outdoorsy to have paid any attention to me!  Luckily, the neighborhood "watch" didn't recommend that I be arrested for indecent exposure!

I limped/clumped around the house, climbed onto the deck and found a window from there, unlocked.  I climbed back into the house, shimmying down a bookcase.  Hmmmm....and I didn't like Gym when I was in school.  Pretty athletic, if you ask me! I was hot, dirty, in agony, but IN THE HOUSE!!!

My phone was ringing upstairs!  I pulled myself up the stairs, missed two calls.  I listened to the first message as I was removing weeks from my hair and the Velcro of my boot: "Hi Meme!  We tried to call you!  You said to call, but you are'n't answering!  How's Tiki?  Are you taking good care of your ankle?  Are you resting or sleeping now?  Grandpa rented a big house.  Too bad he couldn't change the date, but Mom said to stay off of your ankle and take good care of it so that we can play when we come home!  I miss you!  I miss you more!! C'mon guys, we all miss Meme!  We'll call you back later!  I love you!  I love you!  I love you!!  Kiss Tiki for us!!!  We'll call you back!"  CLICK  I listened to the second message.  My Mom:  "Now that the children are away, just rest.  Don't exert yourself!  The peace will do you good.  A little tea, a good book and doze - you might be napping now.  You're probably feeling refreshed already."

You know, one just might be able to nurse a broken ankle while the family is away.  I get that.  But, not when Meme is a Cat Sitter!