Have you ever been mid-experience and thought, "Wow! I like it here. I feel so good! I don't want this moment to end...ever!" If you are honest with yourself, you might say, "Yeah, I know that feeling! I remember when..." Not to live in the past, of course, recalling contentment, elation, joy of particular "moments in time" can be therapeutic without spending $10,000 an hour for a therapist or the fee to rent a U-Haul for medication when basic discontentment, unhappiness, insecurity, fear set in. We all experience those disappointing feelings. Reaching for that moment in time sooths the burn. Relish that "ahhhhhhhhhhhh" and "yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" to retain the rush when life gets tangled and sticky.
When I was about twelve, or so, I distinctly remember standing at the edge of a swimming pool, built into the vast yard of a relative. Two of three cousins had been in the water with me. The oldest sibling was sitting on a lounge talking with my mother about everything and nothing. It was a beautiful, early summer day. Our families were going to barbecue. Music and laughter surrounded us. I was content, happy and as I looked to the sky, I thought, "This is the best day ever! Please don't end!"
As an adult, I remember one and only one day that I had nothing that I really HAD to do. Steve and I had just returned from a Honeymoon in Aruba. He was at his New York office while Butterscotch, my cat, and I were home in a beautiful apartment on the New Jersey side of the Hudson River. We had breakfast on the terrace on a bright, sunny May morning as we watched the river roll by. Of course, I always read, embroidered, but I didn't HAVE to produce a thing that afternoon. I was content, happy and thought, " This is the best day ever! Please don't end!"
One Christmas night, I drove my Grandparents home after a day of family, gifts, feasting. As my Grandmother and I embraced to say goodnight, she filled my senses. I was safe, warm, loved. I was content, happy and thought, "This is the best day ever! Please don't end!"
I lurked in the hospital one evening. My Grandmother had one too many heart attacks. Where did that moment go between life and death? I wanted her last moment to last forever. I wanted to pull and pull her to stay on my side of that sliver of time. Freeze that moment! Don't move that moment in time from me! Stay Nana, stay! I was distraught, frantic, as she slipped from my grasp. I was upset, alone, sad and thought, "This is the worst day ever! Give me back that moment!"
As Steve and I sat at a Tiki Bar at the Engleside on the beach in Beach Haven on a perfect Saturday afternoon, we watched the ocean roll in and tease us. I was content, happy and thought, "This is the best day ever! Please don't end!"
I stood with Todd, Tess and Tanner and looked to the sky on Independence Day. As we watched with our arms around each other and oooooed and ahhhhed at the bright splashes in the sky, I was content, happy and thought, "This is the best day ever! Please don't end!"
After kissing and hugging my Grandchildren - Todd, Tess, Tanner before they boarded the school bus, watching them wave from the windows. Walking back toward the house with my daughter - she in a robe and cowboy boots and me in my leopard jammies, pink slippers and winter coat, laughing and planning our shared day, I was content, happy and thought, "This is the best day ever! Please don't end!"
Think, just think. Have you ever felt the moment so intensely that you want to freeze that moment in time? Sometimes, I want to live in those moments forever - to remain frozen in the peace, in the love of the experience. When I transport my heart to those Moments in Time, I tingle with the joy that I had. I burst with gratitude to God that I had those moments and occasionally demand to know why I couldn't have stayed in their shelter! Therapy isn't in the budget and there is no room in the garage for a massive U-Haul truck of meds. So, I reflect, share.
If you have had those moments, cherish them, although we can never really remain frozen in those Moments of Time!
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